I was having a not-so-good day at work. I can't even qualify it as a bad day at work as there was a minimal amount of additional stress on my normal workload, though I had just received some work news that put me in a rather foul mood. Bad day is when something bad it happening - like a family member having a problem.
When the phone rang I recognized Danielle's number.
"Cranky husband," I said as I pressed the headset button on my phone and sent the Ma Bell signal through my headphone-esque looking crown.
"Day care called," Danielle said, foregoing greetings and salutations.
My mind immediately jumped into exactly why daycare would call. Either Sienna did or something or something happened to Sienna. Daycare isn't the type of place that will arbitrarily call. Or to put it another way, if someone bit Sienna they would mention it to us when we picked her up, not with a midday phone call. Conversely if someone bit Sienna and it broke skin then we'd get a phone call.
"She is running a fever. I'm going to go pick her up. A lot kids are sick today. There is a bug going around."
That was rather good of Danielle given that I was covering a co-workers project at work and I wasn't in a spot to work from home easily.
After I turned off my headset I thought to what was going on. The day still had its stresses at work though nothing compared to the sudden shift in priorities. How sick was Sienna? Was it a cold again? A cough? A something else?
That is part of parenting. Wondering exactly what is wrong with your child without letting your mind get away from you. Or at least too far away from you. It sucks really. The this is only the beginning and in the grand scheme of things - I can't quality it as a bad day since Danielle will take care of Sienna and we'll all be well in the end.
Wayne
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
About My Nonny...
Someday Sienna is going to ask about her grandparents - or if she is anything like me her greatgrandparents. In honor of Magic Johnson announcing he was HIV positive 20 years ago and a coincidence I give the Nonny post.
I ended up thinking about Nonny*, my paternal grandmother a couple of times in the last two days. Yesterday it was when Danielle and I were discussing Grandparents naming - my father goes by Nono, my stepmother goes by Nona, and my mother-in-law will go by, according to her, "whatever Sienna wants to call her." This morning my co-worker John and I got onto the subjects of old school toughness and grandmother's**. Ergo, you get the Nonny entry.
My Nonny was an Italian woman disguised as a block of flesh measuring 4 foot 6 high by 4 foot 6 round. I never recall seeing her in anything except a black dress, white shirt, thick glasses, and unmoving black curly hair - though pictures show her with a occasional bit of color. She had made a living as a seamstress, which accounted for her incredibly strong fingers and hands. If she grabbed you she GRABBED you and there was no way she was letting go until she wanted to. She was old school in how she dispensed love, justice, and wisdom.
By the time my brother and I were old enough for her to have a noticeable impact on our life, she had been tempered by numerous other grandchildren - or at least that is what we are TOLD. It is a frightening concept to image her at the height of her kickassness powers. She spent about a third of a year living with us - spreading her love between ourselves and various other family members the other two thirds of the year. After my Mother died she ended up getting an apartment about half a mile away from us.
Food is Love...
Like all Italian grandmothers my earliest memories of Nonny involve food. Not in one of those cooking all day events, or homemade sauces, or any family recipe secrets - my memories involve pizza. Specifically pepperoni pizza from Centre Pizza in Framingham. If Nonny was coming over we got pizza. This was a HUGE deal as Papa Gino's was actually closer and cheaper, though Nonny knew we liked the more expensive Centre pizza and the tiny pieces of pepperoni dotting the salty cheese which sat on a field of spicy goodness.
We've Heard So Much About You...
As I already mentioned my brother and I had heard seemingly thousands of Nonny stories. Her old school ways came from being a street smart Bostonian with a love that melded with pride in the form of my two Aunts - Linda and Anne, and her baby boy my father Joey. By the time my father was six Grandpa** was no longer in the picture, which effectively left Nonny as a single parent during the 40s & 50s.
A single parent resulting in a thousand stories. Here are my favorite all-time "Don't Mess With My Nonny Stories."
A Plate of Spaghetti
Nonny was watching my cousin Ricky and asked him what he wanted for dinner. She made him a plate of spaghetti and put it in front of him. "I don't want THIS" Ricky said. Wordlessly she dumped the plate of spaghetti over Ricky's head.
The Tree v Nonny
Nonny was driving her car and slid off the road straight into a telephone pole. The pole fell onto her car roof, crushed it inward, leaving her bloodied and unable to move. She looked ratched unconscious when the paramedics showed up. One of them said, "We have a big one in here." Without opening her eyes she replied, "When you get those pole off me I'm kicking your ass."
Nonny & Boyfriend's
My Aunt Linda's boyfriend Phil was over and in the forbidden upstairs room. Specifically the bedroom. Which is when my Nonny arrived and saw him on her bed. She ran across the room and JUMPED onto him, landing a perfect form body splash. She looked like a fullback hitting the hole and reportedly got good air on the jump. She then chased Phil out of the room, bouncing him down the hallway for being where he was not supposed to be.
No Sympathy for Your Dumb Actions
Nonny was babysitting my brother and I when I was about ten years old. I loved black olives. It was my favorite food in the world and we always had 24 ounce cans of olives in the house. I asked my Nonny if I could have some, she said yes - except not too many - and left me to my own devices. I then ate the ENTIRE can.
Then I drank the remaining olive juice.
Soon after I threw up olive and olive juice all over my bedroom floor - I can still picture the tiny chunks of olives sitting on the wood floor our cat Smokey walking over the remains, giving one good sniff and then sprinting out the room. In tears I ran to Nonny and asked her to make me feel better AND clean it up. "You Son of a Bitch, clean up the mess. I told you not to do it." She then handed me paper towels.
Now, by now stretch of the imagination was Nonny mean. She was quite loving. When my mother died she gave me some practical words of wisdom, "Your mother is dead. It's done. I'm old. You have to help take care of your father."
Practical. To the point.
She had just come up from a different place and really was of a generation where she wanted and needed her children to do a bit better than she did.
Her Practicality on Education...
My mother's family disowned her for a while since she was Jewish and married a Catholic. Very Romeo & Juliet - though without all the death. I once asked my father how Nonny had reacted - seeing as how she was a hardcore Catholic. My father told me that she actually didn't care as long as it didn't interfere with his graduate school education. All she cared was that he did well in school. When my brother was born and my Nana and Grandpa (the Jewish side of the grandparents) heard he would be raised Jewish all was forgiven. Knowing my Nonny, she probably figured she already had enough Catholic grand children anyway.
She was Street Smart & Protective...
Having heard about the street smart and protective stories I actually got to see it in action one particular time. I was goofing around in my driveway with my friend John and I had a fold up knife in my front pocket. All of a sudden from a window overlooking the driveway came a booming voice, "Wayne, get up here!" "What? No. We're going out." "Up here now!" "I said--" "Up.Now.John, go home."
Ticked off I went into the house. She greeted me with, "Is someone bothering you? Why do you have that knife?"
She had seen the outline of the knife in my pocket. She threatened bodily harm to whoever was bothering me. No cops. No questions. Just a name. "No one, is bugging me, Nonny." She looked through me to see if I was lying and when she saw I wasn't, her hand shot out and w
ithin half a second she had me off the ground and was shaking me like a rag doll. "Don't be stupid. You carry a knife and you'll find trouble!"
She took the knife from me and tossed me out of the room. I STILL don't know how she was the outline.
She Respected Courage...
My friends were terrified of Nonny. She could intimidate without trying. One day John wanted to play with me and couldn't find me at home. He then rode his bike to my Nonny's apartment to see if I was there. I wasn't. I thought she would be mad that he went there. Instead of she loved it, thinking he was respectful enough to go there. John is the only friend she would actively ask about and I think it made her doubly happy when she found out his parents were first generation from Scotland. She would always ask, "Is that, Son of a Bitch John coming over?"
Ah Yes, Son of a Bitch...
That was a way of saying she liked someone. You were a "son of a bitch" and somehow it made the person smile. In the days before political correctness she had a mouth on her that wasn't even offensive since every adult I knew about her talked the exact same way. I can't even repeat the words in this blog.
I do know that she gave it was well as she took it.
She was always "Ma" though...
Parents have a way of reducing you to a six-year-old child and my father was no exception as he always said, "Ma" in a thick Bostonian accent that was a badge of honor from growing up in the city. Oddly enough other than his sisters I NEVER heard anyone refers to parents as "Ma" - always Mom or Mommy. Coincidentally no one calls my father Joey - only Nonny and her own part-Boston accent and part-old country accent managing to chew up the word and spit it out as seven syllables.
Yes, Nonny was a tough old bag.
Tough enough that she was declared dead. Twice.
Last Rites the First Time
During an operation to remove a brain tumor she received last rites. She survived. The Doctor declared that she had worn him out and that the tumor was SOFTBALL sized. Which admitted he would not have tried to remove if he had known it was so large.
Last Rites the Second Time
As my Nonny grew old she (reluctantly) was put in a Nursing-type hold in Fitchburg and as she grew weaker a hospital. Looking way too skinny and her skin seemingly translucent and looking like a wrinkling overcoat her heart stopped. As they worked to revive her she received last rites. She survived. Again. When told about it, she muttered the question, "Again?"
Coincidentally my Aunt Anne was in the room BOTH times she was received last rites.
A Final Goodbye...
After the second last rites Nonny was so sick that he little baby Joey was called back from the Peace Corp. She ticked HERSELF off by living and becoming healthily enough that she finally told my father to go away. Among the final words were, ""Don't have a funeral for me. I've inconvenienced you enough and you have a life to live."
She died several months later. There was no funeral. Only the memories of a Nonny who loved her family and lived life to the fullest. She also made me smile.
My favorite all time Nonny comments...
I ended up thinking about Nonny*, my paternal grandmother a couple of times in the last two days. Yesterday it was when Danielle and I were discussing Grandparents naming - my father goes by Nono, my stepmother goes by Nona, and my mother-in-law will go by, according to her, "whatever Sienna wants to call her." This morning my co-worker John and I got onto the subjects of old school toughness and grandmother's**. Ergo, you get the Nonny entry.
My Nonny was an Italian woman disguised as a block of flesh measuring 4 foot 6 high by 4 foot 6 round. I never recall seeing her in anything except a black dress, white shirt, thick glasses, and unmoving black curly hair - though pictures show her with a occasional bit of color. She had made a living as a seamstress, which accounted for her incredibly strong fingers and hands. If she grabbed you she GRABBED you and there was no way she was letting go until she wanted to. She was old school in how she dispensed love, justice, and wisdom.
By the time my brother and I were old enough for her to have a noticeable impact on our life, she had been tempered by numerous other grandchildren - or at least that is what we are TOLD. It is a frightening concept to image her at the height of her kickassness powers. She spent about a third of a year living with us - spreading her love between ourselves and various other family members the other two thirds of the year. After my Mother died she ended up getting an apartment about half a mile away from us.
Food is Love...
Like all Italian grandmothers my earliest memories of Nonny involve food. Not in one of those cooking all day events, or homemade sauces, or any family recipe secrets - my memories involve pizza. Specifically pepperoni pizza from Centre Pizza in Framingham. If Nonny was coming over we got pizza. This was a HUGE deal as Papa Gino's was actually closer and cheaper, though Nonny knew we liked the more expensive Centre pizza and the tiny pieces of pepperoni dotting the salty cheese which sat on a field of spicy goodness.
We've Heard So Much About You...
As I already mentioned my brother and I had heard seemingly thousands of Nonny stories. Her old school ways came from being a street smart Bostonian with a love that melded with pride in the form of my two Aunts - Linda and Anne, and her baby boy my father Joey. By the time my father was six Grandpa** was no longer in the picture, which effectively left Nonny as a single parent during the 40s & 50s.
A single parent resulting in a thousand stories. Here are my favorite all-time "Don't Mess With My Nonny Stories."
A Plate of Spaghetti
Nonny was watching my cousin Ricky and asked him what he wanted for dinner. She made him a plate of spaghetti and put it in front of him. "I don't want THIS" Ricky said. Wordlessly she dumped the plate of spaghetti over Ricky's head.
The Tree v Nonny
Nonny was driving her car and slid off the road straight into a telephone pole. The pole fell onto her car roof, crushed it inward, leaving her bloodied and unable to move. She looked ratched unconscious when the paramedics showed up. One of them said, "We have a big one in here." Without opening her eyes she replied, "When you get those pole off me I'm kicking your ass."
Nonny & Boyfriend's
My Aunt Linda's boyfriend Phil was over and in the forbidden upstairs room. Specifically the bedroom. Which is when my Nonny arrived and saw him on her bed. She ran across the room and JUMPED onto him, landing a perfect form body splash. She looked like a fullback hitting the hole and reportedly got good air on the jump. She then chased Phil out of the room, bouncing him down the hallway for being where he was not supposed to be.
No Sympathy for Your Dumb Actions
Nonny was babysitting my brother and I when I was about ten years old. I loved black olives. It was my favorite food in the world and we always had 24 ounce cans of olives in the house. I asked my Nonny if I could have some, she said yes - except not too many - and left me to my own devices. I then ate the ENTIRE can.
Then I drank the remaining olive juice.
Soon after I threw up olive and olive juice all over my bedroom floor - I can still picture the tiny chunks of olives sitting on the wood floor our cat Smokey walking over the remains, giving one good sniff and then sprinting out the room. In tears I ran to Nonny and asked her to make me feel better AND clean it up. "You Son of a Bitch, clean up the mess. I told you not to do it." She then handed me paper towels.
Now, by now stretch of the imagination was Nonny mean. She was quite loving. When my mother died she gave me some practical words of wisdom, "Your mother is dead. It's done. I'm old. You have to help take care of your father."
Practical. To the point.
She had just come up from a different place and really was of a generation where she wanted and needed her children to do a bit better than she did.
Her Practicality on Education...
My mother's family disowned her for a while since she was Jewish and married a Catholic. Very Romeo & Juliet - though without all the death. I once asked my father how Nonny had reacted - seeing as how she was a hardcore Catholic. My father told me that she actually didn't care as long as it didn't interfere with his graduate school education. All she cared was that he did well in school. When my brother was born and my Nana and Grandpa (the Jewish side of the grandparents) heard he would be raised Jewish all was forgiven. Knowing my Nonny, she probably figured she already had enough Catholic grand children anyway.
She was Street Smart & Protective...
Having heard about the street smart and protective stories I actually got to see it in action one particular time. I was goofing around in my driveway with my friend John and I had a fold up knife in my front pocket. All of a sudden from a window overlooking the driveway came a booming voice, "Wayne, get up here!" "What? No. We're going out." "Up here now!" "I said--" "Up.Now.John, go home."
Ticked off I went into the house. She greeted me with, "Is someone bothering you? Why do you have that knife?"
She had seen the outline of the knife in my pocket. She threatened bodily harm to whoever was bothering me. No cops. No questions. Just a name. "No one, is bugging me, Nonny." She looked through me to see if I was lying and when she saw I wasn't, her hand shot out and w
ithin half a second she had me off the ground and was shaking me like a rag doll. "Don't be stupid. You carry a knife and you'll find trouble!"
She took the knife from me and tossed me out of the room. I STILL don't know how she was the outline.
She Respected Courage...
My friends were terrified of Nonny. She could intimidate without trying. One day John wanted to play with me and couldn't find me at home. He then rode his bike to my Nonny's apartment to see if I was there. I wasn't. I thought she would be mad that he went there. Instead of she loved it, thinking he was respectful enough to go there. John is the only friend she would actively ask about and I think it made her doubly happy when she found out his parents were first generation from Scotland. She would always ask, "Is that, Son of a Bitch John coming over?"
Ah Yes, Son of a Bitch...
That was a way of saying she liked someone. You were a "son of a bitch" and somehow it made the person smile. In the days before political correctness she had a mouth on her that wasn't even offensive since every adult I knew about her talked the exact same way. I can't even repeat the words in this blog.
I do know that she gave it was well as she took it.
She was always "Ma" though...
Parents have a way of reducing you to a six-year-old child and my father was no exception as he always said, "Ma" in a thick Bostonian accent that was a badge of honor from growing up in the city. Oddly enough other than his sisters I NEVER heard anyone refers to parents as "Ma" - always Mom or Mommy. Coincidentally no one calls my father Joey - only Nonny and her own part-Boston accent and part-old country accent managing to chew up the word and spit it out as seven syllables.
Yes, Nonny was a tough old bag.
Tough enough that she was declared dead. Twice.
Last Rites the First Time
During an operation to remove a brain tumor she received last rites. She survived. The Doctor declared that she had worn him out and that the tumor was SOFTBALL sized. Which admitted he would not have tried to remove if he had known it was so large.
Last Rites the Second Time
As my Nonny grew old she (reluctantly) was put in a Nursing-type hold in Fitchburg and as she grew weaker a hospital. Looking way too skinny and her skin seemingly translucent and looking like a wrinkling overcoat her heart stopped. As they worked to revive her she received last rites. She survived. Again. When told about it, she muttered the question, "Again?"
Coincidentally my Aunt Anne was in the room BOTH times she was received last rites.
A Final Goodbye...
After the second last rites Nonny was so sick that he little baby Joey was called back from the Peace Corp. She ticked HERSELF off by living and becoming healthily enough that she finally told my father to go away. Among the final words were, ""Don't have a funeral for me. I've inconvenienced you enough and you have a life to live."
She died several months later. There was no funeral. Only the memories of a Nonny who loved her family and lived life to the fullest. She also made me smile.
My favorite all time Nonny comments...
- "Hitting a child is fine. Hitting a kid a lot is not-so-fine. You gotta know the difference."
- "I want you to be happy. If you marry a Jew that is okay. (Long pause) Though if you marry a Christian that'd be better."
- "Jesus died for your sins. If you went to Church you'd understand that. Though the bagels are good at temple."
- "I hope you get all your mother's looks. Not her driving though. She was a terrible driver."
- "Joey, you're my baby and I'll always love you. You're getting fat though."
- On my father's girlfriend Robin moving in with us, "An Italian? These kids are Jewish - she better raise 'em that way."
- On my friend Neal, "Every parent thinks his kid is special. His are wrong."
- On me helping my brother with his paper route at age nine, "Go to school or this will be your job forever."
- Upon meeting Robert Parish in a line a supermarket, "You're tall. You're black. You must be a Celtic. They don't allow other blacks in Boston."
What Does Magic Johnson have to do with all of this?
1991. The world was changing and Magic Johnson just quit playing basketball due to HIV. Nonny comes up to me, "Hey, Wayne, about sex." Me, "uhhhhhhhh." Really, how do you react when your sixty plus your old Nonny comes up to discuss sex. "You know Magic - right? Well, he got the AIDS. If he can get the AIDS you can get it. Wear a condom." 20 years later I STILL don't know how to reply to that.
Sienna. That is your greatgrandmother. The legendary Nonny.
Wayne--
* Interestingly enough Nonny is spelled Nonni and means "grandparents" or "grandfather" in Italian. I have no idea why we called her Nonny. We just did.
** John's family is from China and as a fourteen year old girl John's grandmother used to sneak food into the Japanese prison camps.
*** Depending on the story Grandpa either died of consumption when my father was six or Nonny threw him out of the house for being an alcoholic and he was considered "dead."
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
OWS - Lessons in Building a Society
I love Civilization Revolution. Managing resources, having an objective, building your civilization, and - if all goes well - a form of world domination. That is in the nice computerized version of society - it doesn't take into account free loaders, shadow markets, illegal markets and when-people-just-don't-get-along.
Occupy Wall Street is learning some of these lessons.
Recently there has been a spate of people -both homeless and apparently just a little bit off- showing up at Occupy Wall Street, getting a free meal, some clothes and other OWS resources and then, low and behold, not contributing anything. Simultaneously there have been several assaults on occupiers by...other occupiers. One that started as an attempted drug sale, morphed into an assault on three people and days later ended up with a group of thugs threatening to kill the woman who reported the initial assault. There continues to be not enough bathrooms and not enough garbage pickup - both problems that have doomed city growth - though admittedly only when one tries to grow crops instead of receiving donations.
OWS itself had an issue where too much drumming was upsetting the locals an agreement was reached where they would STOP drumming and the people in the drum circle saying they should DRUM more. And they WOULD drum more. Disagreement isn't bad. It is part of life.
These are the growing pains of any society. Usually one of the first dwellings a society builds is a jail. Mostly so the morphing into general anarchy - and there are a few who would love anarchy - thereby necessitating actual rules and consequences.
OWS is handling it about as well as one could expect. They aren't claiming to be some sort of utopia. They aren't even claiming to try and be a city actually. Though in a strange way there are indicative of social media and the new society. Arrive, sit, and THEN figure out what to do.
Really though. You usually don't get to see a small city pop up in a major city and OWS will continue to learn its lessons.
Wayne
Occupy Wall Street is learning some of these lessons.
Recently there has been a spate of people -both homeless and apparently just a little bit off- showing up at Occupy Wall Street, getting a free meal, some clothes and other OWS resources and then, low and behold, not contributing anything. Simultaneously there have been several assaults on occupiers by...other occupiers. One that started as an attempted drug sale, morphed into an assault on three people and days later ended up with a group of thugs threatening to kill the woman who reported the initial assault. There continues to be not enough bathrooms and not enough garbage pickup - both problems that have doomed city growth - though admittedly only when one tries to grow crops instead of receiving donations.
OWS itself had an issue where too much drumming was upsetting the locals an agreement was reached where they would STOP drumming and the people in the drum circle saying they should DRUM more. And they WOULD drum more. Disagreement isn't bad. It is part of life.
These are the growing pains of any society. Usually one of the first dwellings a society builds is a jail. Mostly so the morphing into general anarchy - and there are a few who would love anarchy - thereby necessitating actual rules and consequences.
OWS is handling it about as well as one could expect. They aren't claiming to be some sort of utopia. They aren't even claiming to try and be a city actually. Though in a strange way there are indicative of social media and the new society. Arrive, sit, and THEN figure out what to do.
Really though. You usually don't get to see a small city pop up in a major city and OWS will continue to learn its lessons.
Wayne
Monday, October 10, 2011
When a Protest Meets Politics
I have watched with amusement as Occupy Wall Street has gotten enough attention (it only took 20+ days) for Democrats and Republicans to finally look across the aisle at each other and...
...take completely opposite stances!
More than anything else the Occupy Wall Street leaders - if they existed, which like Santa Claus they do not - would take this as having reached main street consciousness. Yes, there are Occupy Wall Street support protests in many other states; however the press has been remarkably quiet on the entire issue until the last few days.
Seriously. Other than being told there are protests and nobody knows why Occupy Wall Street exists - the simple common sense answer being people want jobs seems too bleeding obvious for most people to comprehend - had anyone really been reporting on anything other sensationalized reports of a topless dancer, no list of demands, and pepper spray.
This all ends as Democrats and Republicans have figured out which side of the position each side is on and more importantly, how to position themselves properly for each base. I'll give the elevator pitch version: for Democrats Occupy Wall Street is the left wing Tea Party and for the Republicans Occupy Wall Street is a bunch of anti-American anarchists.
Glad that is out of the way. Oh, and Al Sharpton is heading down to Wall Street today. Maybe THAT makes everything mainstream official now.
Either way look for protests to continue and much like religions fail to point out we're all children of Abraham, look for all sides to fail to point out everyone just wants a job.
Wayne
...take completely opposite stances!
More than anything else the Occupy Wall Street leaders - if they existed, which like Santa Claus they do not - would take this as having reached main street consciousness. Yes, there are Occupy Wall Street support protests in many other states; however the press has been remarkably quiet on the entire issue until the last few days.
Seriously. Other than being told there are protests and nobody knows why Occupy Wall Street exists - the simple common sense answer being people want jobs seems too bleeding obvious for most people to comprehend - had anyone really been reporting on anything other sensationalized reports of a topless dancer, no list of demands, and pepper spray.
This all ends as Democrats and Republicans have figured out which side of the position each side is on and more importantly, how to position themselves properly for each base. I'll give the elevator pitch version: for Democrats Occupy Wall Street is the left wing Tea Party and for the Republicans Occupy Wall Street is a bunch of anti-American anarchists.
Glad that is out of the way. Oh, and Al Sharpton is heading down to Wall Street today. Maybe THAT makes everything mainstream official now.
Either way look for protests to continue and much like religions fail to point out we're all children of Abraham, look for all sides to fail to point out everyone just wants a job.
Wayne
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Lessons of Dangers at a Softball Field & What to Teach My Daughter
"This is our fucking field!"
A high school kid in a football uniform was glaring at me beneath the not-so-very-bright lights of Col Jacobs Field in Harlem, as I stood out in left-center field of our softball game, and was nearly plowed over by a sweep.
The kid, backed up by oh about 40 High School players to his immediate right and to his immediate left was another 40 pint-sized mini players of the elementary school size, had the tell tale smirk of enjoying the fact that the practice was taking place IN our softball game.
Hey, at that age I would have smirked too. Permits be damned or not. I also would have been smacked by my coach at that point.
I pictured the headline for the news story: Softball player shot over field dispute in Harlem. I pictured my own reaction if I read such a headline: Idiots.
Yes, I walked away - and bit my tongue because man, I had some verbal gold that I wanted to unleash. I have actually seen this situation before at a softball game. A young kid ran onto a field and the outfielder yelled at him - the kid then came back with a bunch of uncles and friends ("Yo, these are my Uncles!") and it took a fast talking Umpire to cool the situation down. The Umpire calmly said after, "Which is good because they were all packing."
I'm not saying everyone in Harlem packs a gun. I'm just saying that nothing good could have possibly come out of the situation.
What was interesting - I won't even say astounding, or surprising, or even that it did anything more than annoyed me - was that the coaches supervising the practices seemed to be encouraging the behavior.
Okay, I can't even saying encouraging, the female umpire in out game went to talk with the Coaches at one point and in the words of our left fielder, "They basically told her to fuck herself."
This isn't a big social post here. In downtown New York people are being arrested over similar fundamental issues. People just ain't sharing the wealth, or the field, or the piece of candy in a pocket.
I'm not advocating a socialist society - the field really was a microcosm - they had more people, were better protected, and had the field. Yep football coaches on the field - teach the kids they don't have to listen to anyone and to just keep practicing.
Still. Hopefully I'll be able to teach Sienna to share a softball field. Or at least move far enough away if the other people have a permit. Mostly though, I'll probably teach her that sometimes the actual argument with the people ain't worth it and it's more fun to blog about it later.
Wayne
A high school kid in a football uniform was glaring at me beneath the not-so-very-bright lights of Col Jacobs Field in Harlem, as I stood out in left-center field of our softball game, and was nearly plowed over by a sweep.
The kid, backed up by oh about 40 High School players to his immediate right and to his immediate left was another 40 pint-sized mini players of the elementary school size, had the tell tale smirk of enjoying the fact that the practice was taking place IN our softball game.
Hey, at that age I would have smirked too. Permits be damned or not. I also would have been smacked by my coach at that point.
I pictured the headline for the news story: Softball player shot over field dispute in Harlem. I pictured my own reaction if I read such a headline: Idiots.
Yes, I walked away - and bit my tongue because man, I had some verbal gold that I wanted to unleash. I have actually seen this situation before at a softball game. A young kid ran onto a field and the outfielder yelled at him - the kid then came back with a bunch of uncles and friends ("Yo, these are my Uncles!") and it took a fast talking Umpire to cool the situation down. The Umpire calmly said after, "Which is good because they were all packing."
I'm not saying everyone in Harlem packs a gun. I'm just saying that nothing good could have possibly come out of the situation.
What was interesting - I won't even say astounding, or surprising, or even that it did anything more than annoyed me - was that the coaches supervising the practices seemed to be encouraging the behavior.
Okay, I can't even saying encouraging, the female umpire in out game went to talk with the Coaches at one point and in the words of our left fielder, "They basically told her to fuck herself."
This isn't a big social post here. In downtown New York people are being arrested over similar fundamental issues. People just ain't sharing the wealth, or the field, or the piece of candy in a pocket.
I'm not advocating a socialist society - the field really was a microcosm - they had more people, were better protected, and had the field. Yep football coaches on the field - teach the kids they don't have to listen to anyone and to just keep practicing.
Still. Hopefully I'll be able to teach Sienna to share a softball field. Or at least move far enough away if the other people have a permit. Mostly though, I'll probably teach her that sometimes the actual argument with the people ain't worth it and it's more fun to blog about it later.
Wayne
Monday, September 26, 2011
Breaking down TV: Was the Jersey Shore Too Exploitive Recently?
Reading that subject line aloud I understand that may be the most oxymoronic question ever in this blog.
Quick review of the episode in question. J-Wow and Snooki's boyfriends were scheduled to visit them in Italy. J-Wow's boyfriend had to cancel; while Snooki's boyfriend visited and by the end of the episode had broken up with Snooki and left her at about level 50 on a 1 to 10 scale of "losing her shit."
Danielle and I - who watch the show together - were left feeling rather uncomfortable from the episode and as Danielle put it, "They just exploited them [meaning Snooki]." Interestingly enough I know several people who refuse to watch the show after this episode.
Normally I would give a rat's behind about it...except...well...except I have Sienna now and she might have a level 50 meltdown (or worse, ask about this show). Therefore, I'll break down this mess and see where it leaves us (or at least me).
The discomfort of the episode is a genuine reaction to genuine feelings that are shown on the screen. What are we looking at on the screen?
Drunk and Stupid (Funny)
All members of the show fall into this. If you show people being drunk and stupid - well, we laugh at them, as long as nothing REALLY bad happens to them. Snooki running headfirst into a shrug because she is so drunk? That is funny. Actually it was hysterical. As long as the person only hurts him/herself then we're okay.
Drunk and Stupid (Unfunny)
Ronnie owns this category. He turns into a raging sociopath and has several times destroyed rooms in a drunken rage. He once knocked someone out with "one punch, bro!" as the other person was so hammered that no defense could be offered.
Relationships (Humor)
If you show people in a bad relationship then there actually is a certain amount of humor. Usually since one person is so over-the-top you are stunned. Though only women can be shown stalking men - as otherwise it is creepy. The greatest humor for Jersey Shore has been whenever one of the guys "really" likes a girl and tries to woo her.
Relationship (Annoying)
Ron and Sam took fighting/irritation to such a level that I refuse to waste another breath on them. Ever. Any time The Situation brags about how great he is picking up women turned from funny to annoying.
Now that we have those categories set up, I can analyze what happened in the episode, as I'll have to explain this to Sienna at some point. By the way, Danielle and I had a long discussion about this episode.
This episode managed to take all four of those categories - tie them into one - and leave Snooki a screaming mess. How did they do it? (Drunk and funny) Snooki was dancing with her boyfriend, pulled up her dress (drunk and unfunny) wouldn't stop. Snooki (relationship - annoying) kept claiming she loves her beau and (relationship - humor) ran to greet him at the door like a little kid.
That is skills.
It was Exploitative
By definition it is a reality show and can't be exploitative. Still, the emotions were raw and real - and nobody wants that in his or her box of humor. I wouldn't call it exploitative as much as superior MTV editing. Here is how they pulled it off.
J-Wow is actually sympathetic. She is the mother figure and despite her intro of "bite a guys head off after having sex" she has been in two long term relationships during the course of the show. One appears to have been abusive - and the breakup was catalogued last season. While J-Wow is prone to exaggeration (after The Situation head butted the wall and got a concussion she said, "I don't want the kid to die") her relationship with her boyfriend Roger seems legit. We like J-Wow and have forgiven her for cheating with Paulie D in an early episode. The reason Roger couldn't make it to Italy was also realistic - he couldn't get the time off from work. J-Wow also had a plausible reaction: she was upset, yet didn't take it out on Roger.
Meanwhile there is Snooki. While being a hysterical prop-like device since episode 1 there have been attempts to show that Snooki merely wants love/boyfriend. Fair enough. Life is filled with characters who look for love, screw it up, and eventually find love. Sex and the City was an entire series of could-be-flawed women looking for love and eventually finding it.
However Snooki doesn't have writers - she has herself and editors. Snooki's relationship seems to be based on her boyfriend wanting her to "not be herself" and her wanting to still party. The entire season we've been privy to the phone calls between the two of them that actually...well...the castmates even think the relationship is a bad idea. Credit were credit is due - when EVERYONE in the house thinks it is a bad idea you should reconsider (just like when everyone in the house thinks it is a good idea.) Snooki also had a three hour makeout session with a housemate that is not cheating, since she was so drunk she didn't remember ANY of it.
Needless to say. Snooki is a party animal and her boyfriend was okay with her making out with other women. She is definitely NOT sympathetic though. It is like when they tried to make The Situation sympathetic for injuring himself after headbutting a wall. Snooki loves attention, hates work, and is comes off across as hypocritical. I want love! I love my guy! Ohhh...makeout time!
With that setup the editors showed us J-Wow's beau not being available, transferring that sadness over to the joy Snooki felt at HER guy showing up.
Yes, the show was manipulative. Smart as hell too. It took one characters sympathy, transferred it to another way LESS sympathetic character, and made us all feel uncomfortable. What happened though is that after the episode viewers realized, I just felt bad for Snooki who is a hypocritcal maniac. What the fuck? I can't think about this anymore.
Then they quit watching.
Don't manipulate people. It isn't nice.
Which brings me back to Sienna. Someday she is going to come to myself - or more likely Danielle - on a class 50 rager. Rather than try to logic it out to her I'm just going to show her this episode. I'm going to ask her whether she was acting more like J-Wow or Snooki.
At that point, if she wails too loud it is Snooki and I'll know I haven't raised her right. If it's J-Wow...well that really isn't much better, just less hypocritical.
Wayne
Quick review of the episode in question. J-Wow and Snooki's boyfriends were scheduled to visit them in Italy. J-Wow's boyfriend had to cancel; while Snooki's boyfriend visited and by the end of the episode had broken up with Snooki and left her at about level 50 on a 1 to 10 scale of "losing her shit."
Danielle and I - who watch the show together - were left feeling rather uncomfortable from the episode and as Danielle put it, "They just exploited them [meaning Snooki]." Interestingly enough I know several people who refuse to watch the show after this episode.
Normally I would give a rat's behind about it...except...well...except I have Sienna now and she might have a level 50 meltdown (or worse, ask about this show). Therefore, I'll break down this mess and see where it leaves us (or at least me).
The discomfort of the episode is a genuine reaction to genuine feelings that are shown on the screen. What are we looking at on the screen?
Drunk and Stupid (Funny)
All members of the show fall into this. If you show people being drunk and stupid - well, we laugh at them, as long as nothing REALLY bad happens to them. Snooki running headfirst into a shrug because she is so drunk? That is funny. Actually it was hysterical. As long as the person only hurts him/herself then we're okay.
Drunk and Stupid (Unfunny)
Ronnie owns this category. He turns into a raging sociopath and has several times destroyed rooms in a drunken rage. He once knocked someone out with "one punch, bro!" as the other person was so hammered that no defense could be offered.
Relationships (Humor)
If you show people in a bad relationship then there actually is a certain amount of humor. Usually since one person is so over-the-top you are stunned. Though only women can be shown stalking men - as otherwise it is creepy. The greatest humor for Jersey Shore has been whenever one of the guys "really" likes a girl and tries to woo her.
Relationship (Annoying)
Ron and Sam took fighting/irritation to such a level that I refuse to waste another breath on them. Ever. Any time The Situation brags about how great he is picking up women turned from funny to annoying.
Now that we have those categories set up, I can analyze what happened in the episode, as I'll have to explain this to Sienna at some point. By the way, Danielle and I had a long discussion about this episode.
This episode managed to take all four of those categories - tie them into one - and leave Snooki a screaming mess. How did they do it? (Drunk and funny) Snooki was dancing with her boyfriend, pulled up her dress (drunk and unfunny) wouldn't stop. Snooki (relationship - annoying) kept claiming she loves her beau and (relationship - humor) ran to greet him at the door like a little kid.
That is skills.
It was Exploitative
By definition it is a reality show and can't be exploitative. Still, the emotions were raw and real - and nobody wants that in his or her box of humor. I wouldn't call it exploitative as much as superior MTV editing. Here is how they pulled it off.
J-Wow is actually sympathetic. She is the mother figure and despite her intro of "bite a guys head off after having sex" she has been in two long term relationships during the course of the show. One appears to have been abusive - and the breakup was catalogued last season. While J-Wow is prone to exaggeration (after The Situation head butted the wall and got a concussion she said, "I don't want the kid to die") her relationship with her boyfriend Roger seems legit. We like J-Wow and have forgiven her for cheating with Paulie D in an early episode. The reason Roger couldn't make it to Italy was also realistic - he couldn't get the time off from work. J-Wow also had a plausible reaction: she was upset, yet didn't take it out on Roger.
Meanwhile there is Snooki. While being a hysterical prop-like device since episode 1 there have been attempts to show that Snooki merely wants love/boyfriend. Fair enough. Life is filled with characters who look for love, screw it up, and eventually find love. Sex and the City was an entire series of could-be-flawed women looking for love and eventually finding it.
However Snooki doesn't have writers - she has herself and editors. Snooki's relationship seems to be based on her boyfriend wanting her to "not be herself" and her wanting to still party. The entire season we've been privy to the phone calls between the two of them that actually...well...the castmates even think the relationship is a bad idea. Credit were credit is due - when EVERYONE in the house thinks it is a bad idea you should reconsider (just like when everyone in the house thinks it is a good idea.) Snooki also had a three hour makeout session with a housemate that is not cheating, since she was so drunk she didn't remember ANY of it.
Needless to say. Snooki is a party animal and her boyfriend was okay with her making out with other women. She is definitely NOT sympathetic though. It is like when they tried to make The Situation sympathetic for injuring himself after headbutting a wall. Snooki loves attention, hates work, and is comes off across as hypocritical. I want love! I love my guy! Ohhh...makeout time!
With that setup the editors showed us J-Wow's beau not being available, transferring that sadness over to the joy Snooki felt at HER guy showing up.
Yes, the show was manipulative. Smart as hell too. It took one characters sympathy, transferred it to another way LESS sympathetic character, and made us all feel uncomfortable. What happened though is that after the episode viewers realized, I just felt bad for Snooki who is a hypocritcal maniac. What the fuck? I can't think about this anymore.
Then they quit watching.
Don't manipulate people. It isn't nice.
Which brings me back to Sienna. Someday she is going to come to myself - or more likely Danielle - on a class 50 rager. Rather than try to logic it out to her I'm just going to show her this episode. I'm going to ask her whether she was acting more like J-Wow or Snooki.
At that point, if she wails too loud it is Snooki and I'll know I haven't raised her right. If it's J-Wow...well that really isn't much better, just less hypocritical.
Wayne
Where Have I Been for Two Months?
Before I post the next posting - where I analyze The Jersey Shore - I am sure it will be wondered why there hasn't been a posting since August 3rd.
Besides being known as "a long time" it is also known "as summer" - though that isn't the reason I've been missing. I was off doing Digital Media for the company and work for, ultimately wearing me out from posting.
Yes, there are only so many posts one has in his/her day.
There you go. My lame excuse. I'll give a quick personal update: child is fat, happy, and doing well.
Wayne
Besides being known as "a long time" it is also known "as summer" - though that isn't the reason I've been missing. I was off doing Digital Media for the company and work for, ultimately wearing me out from posting.
Yes, there are only so many posts one has in his/her day.
There you go. My lame excuse. I'll give a quick personal update: child is fat, happy, and doing well.
Wayne
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