Thursday, September 30, 2010

Ten Things I'll Teach My Daughter About Baseball

Danielle and I are expecting a daughter this March. Beyond the general excitement/fear/we did what? of becoming parents there are some immediate questions that comes up. First, Daughter baseball fan allegiance - we have
  • Mets fan -Danielle's side of the family
  • Red Sox fan - my side of the family, or
  • Disowned if she becomes a Yankee fan.*
Second, whether I'll teach my daughter about baseball and how to play. Absolutely. My reply has surprised some people - probably fans of Rob Dibble - it didn't even OCCUR to me not to teach her to play or be a fan.

My initial baseball fandom-and all sports- came from my mother. From her I learned how to do math using batting averages, the importance of going from first to third on a hit, and why bleacher seats are so much fun. I keep hearing about baseball being about fathers & sons - definitely true, just not in my house.

Let me cover playing baseball for exactly one paragraph.

Danielle has better fundamentals than I do. Ask anyone who has ever seen her play softball (or myself play softball). During Mets Family Day people were shocked at how good a player she is as my pregnant wife and I played long toss in the outfield.

So leaving the teaching of fundamentals to Danielle here are ten things I'll teach my daughter (in no order) about baseball
  1. Your team will give you the biggest joys and disappointments of your life
  2. If an opposing player reaches into the stands for a foul ball it is your DUTY as a fan to get in his way
  3. The importance of going from first to third on a hit
  4. A free baseball ticket is a good baseball ticket (and a thank you note a must)
  5. Become a Party Patrol person - because you get to fire the shirt gun
  6. Wins & ERA are useless - now FIP & K/9 are worth knowing
  7. Nothing wrong with Daddy having a shake shack, frites & a second burger
  8. Never wear a pink hat. Ever.
  9. When keeping score in the book and you miss a play look up the information on a mobile device (credit to Ben Kabak for that little trick)
  10. Every statistic, knowledge, or reality goes out the window when you're cheering your team and you just want them to win

I really hope she doesn't become a Yankee fan though. I don't know that Danielle or I could handle it.

Wayne

*If the Yankee situation comes up I'm brining in a child training expert in the form Danielle's old friend Jason - his son Joshua is a rabid Mets fan so obviously whatever Jason did paid off.


Follow me at www.twitter.com/wparillo
www.thejetscurse.com

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Anti-climactic Tennis

A tear was building up. I could see it developing on the corners of Danielle's eyes. Surely it was ready to descent down my beautiful wife's cheek.

It was all Nadal's fault.

He was raising his trophy high into the air, the entire culmination of an entire lifetime of work -okay he is 20-something but stick with me- leading to a history making Grand Slam. Certainly there would be words of wisdom, or a jubilant cheer to rock the foundations of the universe.

Cut to: Opening of the Chargers-Chiefs game.

Jarring writing above, right? Throws you out of the moment and makes you wonder what is up, right? Unfortunately the U.S. Open had one of the most anti-climactic of emotional climaxes as viewers wondered: Where the hell is ESPN Classic?

I must back up a bit first, Monday night Danielle and I were watching (enjoying isn’t the right word) the Jets-Ravens game, and flipping over to pro wrestling during commercial breaks. A massive thunderstorm had rolled through the area delaying the Jets game, the Mets game, and I THOUGHT the U.S. Open finals.

What also added to my thought that the finals had been cancelled was that CBS was showing Two and a Half Men. Being a good husband I had checked - after all Danielle is a huge tennis fan and I like to keep my wife joyously happy seeing as how she humors me so often.

Being a better wife Danielle checked her Blackberry - showing that the nefarious device was finally good for something - and that the U.S. Open

The U.S. Open was on ESPN2. CBS ran NO ticker saying to check out the other station. ESPN2 *mentioned* the ceremony would be on ESPN Classic - whatever the hell that is. Really the entire situation reminded me of TBS having technical difficulties during the playoffs and running Steve Harvey while trying to fix the situation but not telling anyone.

Either way the dramatic moment was ruined I looked toward Danielle wondering what she wanted to do.

"We can watch Monday night football," she said. Okay, I may not have even waited. I have no idea where ESPN Classic is.

Talk about anti-climactic.

Wayne

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

New School & New Meadowlands

In the Parillo household the beginning of the school year brought along the combo-platter of apprehension and excitement. Where would your friends be? Who moved away? Who would be in class? How the heck do you find your classroom? Wow, everything looks so different.

Going to Jets opening night at the New Meadowlands Stadium was much the same.

After covering last season Mark, Ben, and myself definitely think of Peter, Mo, and the father-son of Jimmy & Jim as our classmates on the Jets adventure of last year, or more accurately, they gave us a glimpse into the world of tailgating and their years and years of experience.

Which basically means we got to hang out with the older cooler kids.

As the season approached Peter and I emailed a few times. Basic stuff: where you sitting, who is coming back. The answers:Lot B, not really sure yet.

You go where?
It was a nice first day of school. Since Mark is now upstate and would be coming down with his father Ben and I arrived at the stadium - with a parking pass donated by my buddies Chris and Cory - at 2:15 - or exactly 15 minutes after the lot opened. Much like when a bus route gets changed from the year before parking proved to be a hiccup - especially when we reached the lot.

As I handed over the ticket I asked, "Where is Lot B?"

The Parking Lot woman told me there were only numbered lots and no lots with letters.

Thankfully I had a map and was able to point out that there is indeed a Lot B.

"Oh, I guess there is," she said.

"How do I get there?"

"Just go down this road and take a right," she said while pointing at the map.

Fifteen minutes later, several illegal turns, and being bounced back and forth between even more security people I got the low down. It turns out Lot B was nowhere near our current position and the only way to get to it would be to LEAVE the parking area and re-enter. Which is not possible given our parking pass had already been ripped.

Right.

Parking lot L it is. First day jitters by the new parking people. Could happen to any new people with a new route.

The Trek to Lot B & Hamsters
Parking Lot B is almost exactly halfway away from where we parked. No big deal since it was a very warm, wonderfully sunny day and it would allow us to get some shots of the New Meadowlands.

Lots of flags, signage, beer, and fires a-blazing. Though everything was slightly off – probably due to the fact that the stadium is in a different place than the old stadium. It’s like walking around your school yard and someone built a giant add on.

And then demolished the original structure.

Though some brilliant mind put fences up around the new structure. Lots of them. Beautiful cyclone fences made the place into hamster tubes. For Jets fans whom eventually get trapped in one of these cyclone behemoths I give you http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Hamster-Out-of-a-Tube.

Lot B also included a trip across two porticuses (porticli?)- I call them porticus even though they are really enclosed staircases attached by bridges that hang over the parking lot. It gives you the feeling that barbarians are going to storm the area.

Which will happen after a close loss when angry fans are denied the ability to cross the street from getting from the stadium to Lot B - I enjoyed the threat of a ticket for jay walking. Those cyclone fences are NOT very secure. Also, if you want a contact high you can stand in one of the porticus as people are already using it as a hidden get stoned area that rivaled anything I ever ran across in school.

The Gang is Here & It Feels…Different

Over the years Peter and the crew had become friendly with the people in the surrounding area. Between PSLs, parking lots, and logistics there was NO WAY they could get the neighbors to the new neighborhood. Which leaves you with a whole set of neighbors.

The little city within the city, which effectively screws up the school analogy. Such is life.

A friendly face greeted us in the new city in the form of Mo. Turns out he had to charm his way through security to let him get to his friends. He is now a proud grandfather and maybe he'll just show pictures of the grandkids to get through- at least that is what I'd do.

Yes, the kids are already wearing Jets onsies in case anyone wants to know.

We caught up with Peter. His perpetual state of optimistic pessimism wrapped up the Jets and life by pointing out the new setup was on grass though the big question would be what happens when it rains.

Jimmy, leaning back in his chair, relating stories about checking out his new seats at the top of the stadium, becoming nervous about falling down the steps, and ultimately buying different seats at a result.

And Jim, ever present sunglasses on as he cooked up fried ravioli, and more importantly, letting me in on the recipe.

After catching up, tasting some of the food (as usual), and questions about the Jets chances (assorted) Ben and I went off to find out the new kids to neighbor—err, school.

The New Neighbors
Jets fans are a friendly bunch - especially when you have a video camera. Ben discovered this first hand as a Ronnie from the Jersey Shore clone ran toward the camera and grabbed Ben.

"Please don't hurt the camera!" I yelled as Ben was picked up and tossed onto the hood of the truck. This actually seemed completely reasonable at the time and major credit to Ben for continuing to shoot and not drop the camera.

Ronnie-clone and his friends were outstanding people though. A much younger crew who had experienced the same issues as Peter and his crew – finding friends, getting in, PSL issues. When I asked why do Iit? Ronnie-clone gave me a friendly smile and said, "It's a nice day and it's Jets football. You just feel the love, man!"

The Ending of the Day
I won’t get into the aftermath of visiting others I know in the lot. Or the massive rain and lighting storm. Just the final thought: New school, same as the old school, except everyone looks a little different, and all of them have the same school spirit.

Even if they have to go through hamster tubes to hang out with friends.

Wayne
www.twitter.com/wparillo
www.thejetscurse.com

Friday, September 10, 2010

Why?

Why not?

Okay might you want a little more than that.

Life consists of a lot planned randomness. For me it's going to work, figuring out what to barbeque, marriage, the documentary - both post production & raising cash, my desire to compare psychology to sports, and that isn't even touching on the low-level portion of the program.

It's the in-betweens of those moments, or the moments themselves that are interesting. Or at last it is the stuff I end up telling my beautiful and patient wife Danielle about at the end of the night.

Or emailing friends about.

Or tweeting.

Or when I've blogged over the years.

That is everyone's life when you think about it (which I do) or some variant within. You wake up in the morning with an idea of what you want, and then randomness takes over. You can try to plan for the day but really...it ain't happening.

So welcome to my creative sandbox where I'll talk about a multitude of subjects - sometimes to inform, often to question, but always to share.

Like I said, why not.

Night humanoids.
Wayne