Why I Won't Be Behind Home Plate Tonight

I am the King-of-Figure-It-Out. A friend once said it to me and I took it as a compliment with a certain amount of pride. Heck, I would love to put it on my resume as SKILL: King-of-Figure-It-Out.

Remember in previous postings how I said that free tickets pop up at unexpected times? Yeah, this was one of them. My boss at work Lahmani had received Mets tickets for our group doing some fantastic job on some project or another. Tickets directly behind home plate. So close that the umpire can hear you talk some trash. So close that...you get the point.

She offered them out to the group and despite the delay in time of receiving the message and replying... I said yes. You automatically say yes. I always say yes in these situations. I am the King-of-Figure-It-Out.

That is if I think the tickets are still available. Luckily I am in a group with Yankee fans, Long Islandites, and people with children. Oh. People with children.

People like me. How life can change quickly. (By the way if this is a sitcom hijinks would have ensued).

I retract my message to Lahmani. The King-of-Figure-It-Out isn't the King-of-Tell-The-Boss-One-Thing-And-Then-Cancel. That is just a bad move. Still, there was time. I am required to pick Sienna up from daycare at approximately 5:45.

Calling babysitter Grandma was out of the question since she had already picked up Sienna yesterday* when Danielle was working the game and I was scheduled to go. I wondered what cave man would do in the situation - he had much larger problems involving children than I did - and seriously, whenever something vexs me at all I wonder what a caveman would do. It is surprisingly effective in cutting through the bs.

Caveman would take his child with him. Well, there you go then. Thanks mighty ancestor of mine! Though I am not sure that caveman would have known that a child under 26 inches does not require a ticket.

I called Danielle at her office. I believe it is what caveman would have done - if he had telephones instead of two rocks to smack together.

ME: Hi, sweetie.

DANIELLE: Hey.

ME: If I go to a Mets game with co-workers and sit behind home plate - any chance you can pick up Sienna?

Aside 1: To understand the awesomeness of this question, understand Danielle has to work every home Mets game. Also understand that sometimes the most obvious query means I do not have to figure anything out.

DANIELLE (Pause)

Aside 2: Have I mentioned my wife gives the best pauses ever? It is an artform. Like any artform she never knows she is doing it - only that it is magical.

DANIELLE (Pause)

Aside 3: It takes a while since she is running through options

DANIELLE: I don't see how it will work since I need to be here.

ME: How about this? I go home and pick up, Sienna. I bring her out to the ballpark and then we'll ride home later together?

DANIELLE (Pause)

ME: It *could* work.

DANIELLE: How would you plan on getting here? I have the car.

ME: Subway?

Aside 4: Okay, am I so into Mets baseball and free ticket on a rainy day that would require me carting a child through rush hour train traffic to a game that is potentially going to be rained out? Um yes. Have you ever sat in a seat behind home plate? Would I not have DVRd the entire even so I could show Sienna footage of her smiling at the camera and my co-workers looking furious as she shoved a hand in their beer?

DANIELLE: It is supposed to rain. I don't think it is the best idea. You'll end up cold, wet, and with a crying child.

And with that King-of-Figure-It-Out met Mother-of-all-Logic. Actually I am pretty sure Sienna would have been fine. However I hate getting soaked. Danielle is also completely reasonable and that she entertains these questions at all is why I love her.

Instead I will enjoy it from another pretty good seat in a house and Sienna will indeed be on my lap. Though any choice words for the umpire will be for our ears only.

Well, until her 7:30 bedtime. Then I turn off the game while I read her a bedtime story - priorities and all.

See. I figured out something that works.

Wayne
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Go to Bloombergsports.mlblogs.com to hear Wayne on "Behind the Numbers" or follow him on @wparillo - third person statements in a personal blog. Weird.

*Grandma would have done it. She loves her grand daughter. Actually Grandma might have brought her to the game herself.