I'm not like that...well, maybe you are

I love elevators.

They are petri dishes of humanity whereby people tend to forget where they are and talk at the top of the lungs. Subways are a close second* yet do not have as many opportunties to have a random person completely forget he or she is on an elevator and say (a) something hysterically inappropriate or (b) provide a bite sizes morsel into why humanity may actually collapse upon itself.

Today it was B.

"I need to get a new pair of glasses since I can't see anymore."

The speaker was a frumpy, middle-age woman and I'm not using that description so you will immediately dislike her. I'm using that description since she was a frumpy, middle-age woman who's skin managed to somehow disolve straight into her suit, giving her a near translucent aspect.

"People thought I was rude because they'd wave to me across the parking lot and I wouldn't say anything. I didn't even see them." She was telling her equally dressed in blue translucent friend - her outfit was blending her into the background of the elevator wall - who is only being mentioned since Translucent Blue was on the receiving end of the Frumpy Translucent's confession.

At that point the elevator reached the bottom floor. Since I am a polite person - or at least pretend to be - I gestured for both women to exit first. Translucent Blue nodded her thanks and Frumpy Translucent...she walked straight out of the elevator.

Fair enough. She didn't owe me anything.

However the building we were at required us to get a second set of elevators. I moved past the Translucent Twins and reached the next set of elevators, pressing the button as one is wont to do.

It should be no surprise that the Translucent Twins caught up to me. After all it wouldn't be much of a story. It should also come as no surprise that Frumpy Translucent stepped right past me when the elevator opened.

"I just have trouble seeing," she was opining as she brushed past.

As the elevator reached our final destination, I tripped her. Just kidding. Though I thought about it. Instead I left them go first and listened as she complained, "I just hate when people are rude. People should just be polite."

Yes, I thought in agreement.

The moral of the story, yeah, I probably do something similar. Most times that some action annoys you is because you do it yourself. Still, I really wanted to give her a kick in the rear.

Wayne

Wayne
* Once upon a time I would have had subways first except Danielle has lived in New York her entire life and has (a) taught me proper subway etiquette and (b) subway talking has taken on a level of performance art whereby you can't really get a GREAT natural conversation like an elevator. A ruined it for me much more than B.