Sienna "fights"

Sienna has always been a cautious child.

She did not start walking until she spent several months walking on her knees* in an effort to make sure she would be strong and steady enough, she is notorious for having spent a large portion of her life in day care sitting in a high chair watching everyone until she was able to move around on her own, and she would not even fight for a toy.

By the way, cautious child is a euphemism for shy, and as a parent you want your child to be cautious yet outgoing. This mainly saves you from having to explain to people that your child is cautious. Eventually Sienna started walking, came down from her high chair to join the rest of her school mates** though she continued to not assert herself, i.e. other kids would take her toys.

Over time the day care Provider - there are three and pretty much all of them did the following at least once - would greet me with a very excited look and story of how Sienna was FINALLY squealing or pushing back in an effort to assert herself. It was a tremendous day of excitement when Sienna was in the small yard of the day care center, in the playhouse with her friend Max*** when she tricked Max into leaving the playhouse and then locked--him--out.

All of these stories were preceded with the day care Provider stating, "Sienna got in a fight today." Though always with a smile since Sienna is the one of the smaller kids in the class and assertiveness is always good. Lately Sienna has been alternating between fighting and holding hands with a new boy named Steven.

Last night Danielle and I picked up Sienna and were greeted with "Sienna got in a fight." Knowing it was 5 degrees all day I figured the children had not gone outside so it was some sort of tugging match over a toy - which is call fighting.

"She hit, Steven," the Provider said, the thick Polish accent making everything come out as a matter-of-fact-not-to-be-argued.

"She get the toy?" Sienna and the other children often have the same favorite toys. Such is life.

The Provider started laughing. "She was punching him."

I give the Provider's a lot of credit. Fighting is never a good thing, though on a certain level children are going to shove one another and you don't need to tell a parent of every incident. Biting, bruising, blood - yes; everything else, well...call me if there is a pattern. They really care about these ankle biters.

"Uh..." I glanced down at Sienna who had joined us and was hugging her Mommy hello. No worse for wear. I turned my attention back to the still laughing Provider.

"We looked over. She had wrestled Steven to the ground and was punching him in the head." This is about the most un-Sienna like incident I had ever heard. Yes, she used to wrestle the cat from chair. I had truly no idea where she learned to punch though.

"Um, oh wow." It was the extent of a reply. Danielle's eyes were wide as saucers. No one wants to learn his or her daughter is a brute. Conversely Danielle and I once saw Sienna's friend Adam tackle her to the ground while she attempted to escape his hug attempt. That was equally as uncomfortable as he gave her the hug on the ground while she screamed in anguish. So I guess in the grand scheme I'll take brute child.

"How did it happen?" I asked. Trying to edge myself out past the door.

"We don't know. We looked over. Everyone was shocked since it was Sienna." At this point the Provider was laughing. I think it is a point of pride that my little girl was defending herself - she has been going to the day care since she was 3 months old and she really is a waif. Wow, I sound like a parent making excuses. Awesome.

"We should show you the video. It's really pretty funny."

The Provider threw it in as a casual comment. Other parents showed up, including Steven's mother (we think, all parents look the same under winter clothes) and I certainly was not going to mention there is a video of my child tackling yours. Danielle will most likely see the video today and no, we would never show it to anyone else. The world doesn't need our child in such a viral video nor would I would a video of my child being wrestled and hit - no matter how funny it could be.

Either way it is time to reinforce to my child not to punch - still haven't seen it - and be secretly proud that she can handle herself a tiny bit. Or at least that the boy had enough manners not to wail her one.

Wayne
* One day I was watching Sienna motor about as I picked her up from day care. In an attempt at self reassurance I once mentioned to her day care provider that they had problem seen lots of kids spend so much timing walking on knees. "No. Never like this. She is the fastest I've ever seen." Try walking on your knees for 2 or 3 minutes and see how you feel. She also got calluses on her knees. I appreciate all snarky comments kept to yourself, dear reader.

** Danielle and I never worried about Sienna's time spent in the high chair watching people. The head provider assured us Sienna would join in once she started walking as many children do this same exact thing.

*** Fake name