It is the end of the spring '12 TV viewing season which means it is time for a check in on all the shows that Danielle and I are currently watching. Or sometimes watching. Or taking off our DVR list.
On with it
Alcatraz (C). I will be shocked if this show returns next season. I had such high hopes for a science fiction/mystery/fill in the void left by Lost. Instead it is a show that was decidedly average at best, poorly written at worst, and managed to lose over 50% of its initial audience.
Storage Wars (A+) Possibly the best show on television right now and once again showing the initial casting plus luck makes a huge difference. How big a difference is casting? Storage Wars: Texas is awful compared to the original because you cannot overcome how vicious Dave Hester, Jarrod (& Brandi), Barry and Darrel are to one another. Okay, Barry isn't really mean to anyone - but the contempt the others have developed for one another borders on awe inspiring due to the sheer arrogance involved. It is beautiful television.
Grey's Anatomy (B). This show leads my list of "WTF?" on season finales. A season finale setup involving a plane crash that made Danielle so angry she remarked on it to the receptionist at our pediatrician's office. The rest of the season has been fairly awesome due to the de-emphasis of Meredith's Grey character and the heavy lifting done by Sara Ramirez and Sandra Oh. How good is Sandra Oh? She was in a storyline where she aborted her child because she didn't want kids and by the end we were cheering for her.
RAW is WAR (C). Since this is live professional wrestling fare Danielle and I have developed a surprisingly accurate prediction system: if the opening promo is good then the show is good, if the opening promo is bad then the show sucks.
Glee (D). We used to love this show. Now we have no idea what is going on. That is despite watching the first half of the entire season. Danielle doesn't even watch the DVR'd episodes.
30 Rock (B). After nearly being taken off our DVR list after last season's debacle this show has become must-watch again. I am still unsure whether I am pleased or horrified at the continued attempts to shoehorn Tracey Morgan and Jane into scenes together. Okay, I am pleased since they kill me.
How I Met Your Mother (F). A season finale that out did Grey's Anatomy for horribleness. Does any viewer like any character on this show anymore? It is like finding an honest man in whatever that biblical story about finding the honest man is about. This show has one more season to run though no one is going to care about how the mother is anymore since no one is going to like the characters.
Modern Family (A+). Oh yeah, hello Best Show on Television! Consistently funny, consistent character growth, consistent gratuitous shows of Sophia Vargas's cleavage. Ed O'Neill has been killing it as the patriarch in the family since it slowly being revealed as a really bad parent for his first set of kids.
The Big Bang Theory (A). A show with a wedding that WASN'T THE FINALE! Mega points just for that. This show started out about four nerds and now it is about four nerds and their friends and families. I can't say enough about this show as it also has a rare bit where people are actually good at their jobs! I know, strange though making people competent.
Person of Interest (A). I admit to loving number driven crime shows. PoI has perfected the weekly episode connecting into an interesting overall story. I am afraid to talk to much about this show as I am afraid it would start sucking too much.
So there is 2012 Spring in review. We probably should remove a show or two from the DVR, though habitual viewing is a terrible habit to have.
Wayne
Showing posts with label Lazy Man Review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lazy Man Review. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Lazy Man Review: Alcatraz
Disclaimer: The Lazy Man Review is the type of review you would give your buddy at a bar, wife over the dinner table, or mistress during pillow talk. More about what you remember, rather than looking back and proving your thesis with ground breaking research
I'm still angry at JJ Abrams for the ending of Lost. I can't help it. I know he wasn't actually responsible for it yet I still blame him. Hey, if you want to be called the Execute Producer you get the blame. I do know I haven't like a JJ Abrams ending since Regarding Henry. I do love his beginnings though and I own books on Alcatraz. Ergo, count me in.
Though after the two hour premiere I'm only giving the show three more episodes. I have high demands when it comes to the science fiction fantasy world. Heck it isn't even the science fiction it is quality writing I crave.
This is some pretty poor writing.
Madsen, the female lead appears to have been a color by number creation for female protagonist. She is the female rebel who just lost a partner - let me side step here for a moment- the following actually occurred (a) she snarls at a special agent upon meeting him - who turns out to be her new boss, Awkward - and the viewer saw coming about 10 million miles away since it is Sam Neill from Jurassic Park; (b) steals evidence from a crime scene; and (c) someone who drinks hard liquor. She has been solving cases since she was 14 while be raised by a not-actually-related-by-blood Uncle who used to be a guard at Alcatraz.
Combine Madsen with Cold Case level bad dialogue and your problems are just beginning.
We also have Hurley, oh sorry Soto. A really smart guy who Madsen finds via a website link. He has two ph.d's - one in Criminology and one in Civil War History. He also runs a comic book store and writes a comic called Alcatraz. He also appears to be the only person who is surprised by what is going on around him. He is actually bothered when people around him start getting shot. Which strikes me as a perfectly reasonable reaction. The main problem is that he has yet to have any additional information that could not be found from a simple database search. His parents were both professors - which has no bearing whatsoever on anything so far except the belief that children of parents are smart. Which is so not true. Just like children of a psychologist are well adjusted.
Hauser, Hello Mr Sam Neil! rounds out the triumvirate by being even more cliche ridden than Madsen. He is also the harbinger of hidden secrets. He has the most upside potential for vulnerability since he has shown no emotion so far. Such a low starting point gives you a chance! He stumbled into the missing people by accident, seems to have had a relationship 50+ years ago with the Dr. Lucy, played by the Indian chick from Bend it Like Beckham and (say it with me) Doesn't trust anyone!
The show already suffers from Lostism, which is when a character doesn't ask a simple question that would clarify, oh LOTS. Early in the episode Madsen's uncle is revealed to be a guard from Alcatraz who served with Madsen's grandfather. It is later revealed that Madsen's grandfather was actually a prisoner. She then...doesn't immediately go and ask, Why did you lie to me?
Soto is aware of the lie. I'm okay that he doesn't say anything. After all he doesn't actually KNOW these cops. Like I said before, Soto makes sense.
Prisoners Aren't Necessarily Love People...
Stop it right now Alcatraz. Are we going to have to spend every episode learning that SOMEHOW the convicts were misunderstood and then the prison people were MEAN to them. Kudos for the first episode being about a small crime that was a federal offense. However the second episode is about a sniper who really just wanted to be loved?! What the...
There is a Secret Installation Under Alcatraz...
Our heroes operate from a base on Alcatraz. Apparently it will be a long boat ride back whenever they figure out something. I hope there is nothing too time sensitive as they will be on a boat. I also wonder who the hell built it without anyone noticing.
Oh the music...
Danielle wasn't even watching the show yet due to the Lostesque music knew exactly what was happening.
Intriguing...Dr Lucy and Hauser having been an item back in the 60s. Lucy must have vanished then come back. How did Guards vanish from Alcatraz and no one notices? Okay you can hide a convict, not so much with a guard.
What I DID like
It really is a cool concept. The flashbacks are great for fleshing out the story. Though you end up caring more about the people with flashbacks than the main characters. Also Madsen didn't seem to wear a bra during the second episode. Always nice.
Think a procedural where we don't know anything that is going on. I'll give it three more episodes then quit.
Wayne
I'm still angry at JJ Abrams for the ending of Lost. I can't help it. I know he wasn't actually responsible for it yet I still blame him. Hey, if you want to be called the Execute Producer you get the blame. I do know I haven't like a JJ Abrams ending since Regarding Henry. I do love his beginnings though and I own books on Alcatraz. Ergo, count me in.
Though after the two hour premiere I'm only giving the show three more episodes. I have high demands when it comes to the science fiction fantasy world. Heck it isn't even the science fiction it is quality writing I crave.
This is some pretty poor writing.
Madsen, the female lead appears to have been a color by number creation for female protagonist. She is the female rebel who just lost a partner - let me side step here for a moment- the following actually occurred (a) she snarls at a special agent upon meeting him - who turns out to be her new boss, Awkward - and the viewer saw coming about 10 million miles away since it is Sam Neill from Jurassic Park; (b) steals evidence from a crime scene; and (c) someone who drinks hard liquor. She has been solving cases since she was 14 while be raised by a not-actually-related-by-blood Uncle who used to be a guard at Alcatraz.
Combine Madsen with Cold Case level bad dialogue and your problems are just beginning.
We also have Hurley, oh sorry Soto. A really smart guy who Madsen finds via a website link. He has two ph.d's - one in Criminology and one in Civil War History. He also runs a comic book store and writes a comic called Alcatraz. He also appears to be the only person who is surprised by what is going on around him. He is actually bothered when people around him start getting shot. Which strikes me as a perfectly reasonable reaction. The main problem is that he has yet to have any additional information that could not be found from a simple database search. His parents were both professors - which has no bearing whatsoever on anything so far except the belief that children of parents are smart. Which is so not true. Just like children of a psychologist are well adjusted.
Hauser, Hello Mr Sam Neil! rounds out the triumvirate by being even more cliche ridden than Madsen. He is also the harbinger of hidden secrets. He has the most upside potential for vulnerability since he has shown no emotion so far. Such a low starting point gives you a chance! He stumbled into the missing people by accident, seems to have had a relationship 50+ years ago with the Dr. Lucy, played by the Indian chick from Bend it Like Beckham and (say it with me) Doesn't trust anyone!
The show already suffers from Lostism, which is when a character doesn't ask a simple question that would clarify, oh LOTS. Early in the episode Madsen's uncle is revealed to be a guard from Alcatraz who served with Madsen's grandfather. It is later revealed that Madsen's grandfather was actually a prisoner. She then...doesn't immediately go and ask, Why did you lie to me?
Soto is aware of the lie. I'm okay that he doesn't say anything. After all he doesn't actually KNOW these cops. Like I said before, Soto makes sense.
Prisoners Aren't Necessarily Love People...
Stop it right now Alcatraz. Are we going to have to spend every episode learning that SOMEHOW the convicts were misunderstood and then the prison people were MEAN to them. Kudos for the first episode being about a small crime that was a federal offense. However the second episode is about a sniper who really just wanted to be loved?! What the...
There is a Secret Installation Under Alcatraz...
Our heroes operate from a base on Alcatraz. Apparently it will be a long boat ride back whenever they figure out something. I hope there is nothing too time sensitive as they will be on a boat. I also wonder who the hell built it without anyone noticing.
Oh the music...
Danielle wasn't even watching the show yet due to the Lostesque music knew exactly what was happening.
Intriguing...Dr Lucy and Hauser having been an item back in the 60s. Lucy must have vanished then come back. How did Guards vanish from Alcatraz and no one notices? Okay you can hide a convict, not so much with a guard.
What I DID like
It really is a cool concept. The flashbacks are great for fleshing out the story. Though you end up caring more about the people with flashbacks than the main characters. Also Madsen didn't seem to wear a bra during the second episode. Always nice.
Think a procedural where we don't know anything that is going on. I'll give it three more episodes then quit.
Wayne
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Lazy Man Review: Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past
Disclaimer: The Lazy Man Review is the type of review you would give your buddy at a bar, wife over the dinner table, or mistress during pillow talk. More about what you remember, rather than looking back and proving your thesis with ground breaking research.
Rankings: 3.5/5 - on the scale of 5 being When Harry Met Sally and 1 being anything involving Ashton Kutcher or Gigli.
I am a sucker for a good rom-com. That immediately strips me of my imaginary manhood badge - which long time friends nod and wonder if I had one in the first place. I can live with that. Why do I love rom-coms? A good rom-com increases the wife happiness, snuggleness, and the likeliness of [redacted in case Sienna reads this someday.] At worse I get to make snarky comments.
Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past is take off of a Christmas Carol. Though Matthew McConaughey doesn't have anything particularly scrooge-like about him so the comparison with a Christmas Carol begins with "there are ghosts" and ends with "there are three of them."
This movie has a who's who cast of awesomeness. Breckin Meyer as Matt's brother, including a bit of a southern accent; Michael Douglas doing a fantastic Jack Nicholson imitation, Jennifer Garner as herself, Emma Stone stealing every scene she is in, Party of Five's Lacey Chabert - which adds an automatic 1/2 star to any movie, and the sexy guy from Grey's Anatomy. Matt also adds another star to any movie since he really can sell any part he is in - see Sahara - to where you silently nod in agreement that you actually like him.
The writing of this movie is surprisingly plausible as the characters play (mostly) to the top of their intelligence (fixing the broken wedding cake is dumb) and actually have motivation. That is where most rom-coms fail - you wonder why ANYONE would like the main lead.
Matt isn't exactly like that - okay past the first five minutes where you wonder why no one has executed him yet - though the plot gets around to the point really fast that he and Garner have a past history. Yay! Always important. Matt has realistically been hurt by her, thusly making a lot of his behavior semi-justified.
Look, we know how the movie is going to end. It is the getting there that matters. The scenes with Douglas are brilliantly disturbing in that truths he extols on how to pick up women. It is like a thousand tiny truisms (maybe ten, give me a break) sprinkled into the film.
Well worth recording on cable - like I did - and watching it with a loved one. If for anything else for Matt as a 90s sex-symbol who Garner calls out.
Wayne
Rankings: 3.5/5 - on the scale of 5 being When Harry Met Sally and 1 being anything involving Ashton Kutcher or Gigli.
I am a sucker for a good rom-com. That immediately strips me of my imaginary manhood badge - which long time friends nod and wonder if I had one in the first place. I can live with that. Why do I love rom-coms? A good rom-com increases the wife happiness, snuggleness, and the likeliness of [redacted in case Sienna reads this someday.] At worse I get to make snarky comments.
Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past is take off of a Christmas Carol. Though Matthew McConaughey doesn't have anything particularly scrooge-like about him so the comparison with a Christmas Carol begins with "there are ghosts" and ends with "there are three of them."
This movie has a who's who cast of awesomeness. Breckin Meyer as Matt's brother, including a bit of a southern accent; Michael Douglas doing a fantastic Jack Nicholson imitation, Jennifer Garner as herself, Emma Stone stealing every scene she is in, Party of Five's Lacey Chabert - which adds an automatic 1/2 star to any movie, and the sexy guy from Grey's Anatomy. Matt also adds another star to any movie since he really can sell any part he is in - see Sahara - to where you silently nod in agreement that you actually like him.
The writing of this movie is surprisingly plausible as the characters play (mostly) to the top of their intelligence (fixing the broken wedding cake is dumb) and actually have motivation. That is where most rom-coms fail - you wonder why ANYONE would like the main lead.
Matt isn't exactly like that - okay past the first five minutes where you wonder why no one has executed him yet - though the plot gets around to the point really fast that he and Garner have a past history. Yay! Always important. Matt has realistically been hurt by her, thusly making a lot of his behavior semi-justified.
Look, we know how the movie is going to end. It is the getting there that matters. The scenes with Douglas are brilliantly disturbing in that truths he extols on how to pick up women. It is like a thousand tiny truisms (maybe ten, give me a break) sprinkled into the film.
Well worth recording on cable - like I did - and watching it with a loved one. If for anything else for Matt as a 90s sex-symbol who Garner calls out.
Wayne
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