Once upon a time I asked my father a question.
When did he and my Mother went on vacation without my brother and me? He told me, "We went to Spain and it was fantastic. Your mother danced on tables, we drank wine, she sent you letters every day. We were gone two weeks. It was one of the best vacations we ever had."
After confirming that he said, "your mother danced on tables" I asked the natural follow up question, "when was the second time you went without us?"
"We didn't."
"Why not? Could you guys not afford it?"
"No, because of YOU," he actually pointed at me when he said it. "We left you with her friend. When we came home YOU" - he pointed again - "hid behind he friend's leg, burst into tears, and refused to go near your mother because you didn't recognize you."
My father gave me the fiercest dirty look at this point, got up from the table and opened himself a bottle of wine.
Fast forward to last night. I have been encouraging Danielle to spend more time with her friends during the week. She needs some solo time out, I have certainly watched Sienna more than enough and my child LOVES her alone time with Daddy. I have solo bathed her a few times and it is bath night. No big deal.
Well that was LAST MONTH she loved her alone time with Daddy. At 6:40 last night Sienna refused her dinner, looked at the door, and began a soulful wail. 6:40 is around the time Mommy comes home every night. Usually during the middle of Sienna's dinner Mommy joins in the for the second half the meal and the true start to the bed time ritual.
6:41 Sienna refused anymore food. She kept crying.
I picked her up. I am a MASTER at getting my child to stop crying. A MASTER.
6:44. Sienna is still crying. I offer her yogurt. She can't resist yogurt. Ever. It, along with smoked gouda and puffs is a top three food.
6:44:20 Sienna launches a spoonful of yogurt across the room. Scudder is thrilled by this as he almost got himself some free yogurt.
6:46 I'm holding her again me, which soothes her just enough where she puts her thumb in her mouth to stop her tears. Unfortunately her nose is now backed up from crying.
6:47 Sienna is still crying. Even her favorite song A-B-C has no effect. Putting her on the floor to crawl around is useless.
6:48 I change her. She usually cries if she is hungry, wet, or tired. She also loves her changing table. Not tonight. Somehow I squeeze her into her pajamas.
6:50 Sienna has just cried herself out of a bath. Well, I really decided that five minutes ago except I was hoping she would calm down.
6:51 I clean her nose. I'm pretty sure the neighbors can hear her cries, releasing a noise that even Scudder has an expression of "what was that?"
6:52 I take her to her bedroom along with a bottle. She has three sips - including a dirty look between each sip - before testing her arm strength.
6:53 I offer up her favorite book So Big. Even the awesome power of Elmo is useless at this point. She grabs the book long enough to deposit on the floor.
6:54 I put her down to bed. I sing her a lullaby. For the last two months she has pulled herself to a sitting position during the lullaby. Instead she jams her thumb into her mouth - whimpers, takes out the thumb, bellows, then puts in the other thumb. She repeats this process.
6:55 I am in the kitchen and I can clearly here her crying. I put on the timer for 15 minutes. If she is still crying at that time I am going back in.
6:59 She has cried herself to sleep.
Some place my father is laughing. I have just experienced my child taking recognition of another over a parent. Well, at least it was a missing Danielle she cried about. Unfortunately I was the one soothing her.
As a co-worker put it today. "Well, Sienna will be fine. The psychological damage to you will be on going."
I may encourage Danielle to go out with friends next week. Maybe.
Wayne
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