Does Jets/Patriots 2011 Equal Game 4 of Red Sox/Yankees 2004?

"This is the biggest game in Jets history. Bigger than the championship game last year because it's against the Patriots." - My buddy Craig yesterday.

"If we win it's expected, if we lose it's the biggest disappointment ever." - My buddy Rob before the Red Sox/Yankees Game 7 in 2004.

What do those two quotes have to do with each other? It helps me explain how we get from a Game 4 baseball game to a round 2 football game. Let us start with...

The Review
2004. Yankees had a foot on the throat moment where the Red Sox were the unwilling victim. Then Mariano Rivera started trying to pick off Dave Roberts and the Red Sox went from being the biggest chokers ever to the biggest comeback ever. Oh and they won the World Series. As a Red Sox fan I can tell you that beating the Yankees sweetened that World Series victory. I'm not talking a subtle smile sweetening, I'm talking tears streaming down the face while running around Brooklyn screaming "how do you like me now?!" victory.

2010 (into 2011). Patriots & Jets are both 9 - 2. Supposed game of the century. Patriots crush Jets and deliver condescending "nice try kids." Sort of like Yankees fans reaction in 2003 when Aaron Boone took Wakefield over the wall. Only football moves much faster than baseball and instead of waiting for next year they meet this year.

Background done. How the heck is this game equal to the seminal moment in Red Sox history? It always begins with...

Intense Rivalry That is Over-the-Top & One-Sided
After recording, oh about 30 interviews with Jets fans during the 2009 season for Same Old Jets: A story of Hope (aka The Jets Curse) I can tell you there are two teams they hate more than others: Dolphins and Patriots. With the Patriots being the most hated. The Yankees and Red Sox rivalry has probably had 10 million or so words dedicated to it.

Sometimes the rivalry is in the eye of the beholder, or the media in many cases. The rivalries actually have consisted of one team constantly bloodying the other. The Yankee fans wouldn't acknowledge the BoSox and the Patriots fans believe that the Jets are the punchline to the joke, "What's green and red and has mud all over it?" The Jets after they Patriots finish stomping them.

That was BEFORE the Jets made the AFC Championship last year and got some Swagger. Before Hardknocks. Before Tom Brady left pieces of the Jets all over the field in New England this year. Oops. Well you need to fail before you succeed. Like the Red Sox not quitting the Jets aren't quitting. Rex Ryan continues to talking trash about Brady. You need...

Overbearing Arrogance
If you're outside of New York (or a Giants in New York) you want Rex Ryan to quit. Originally I was going to say "be quiet" except you really want him to be quiet and quit. Revis Island. Antonio Cromartie calling out Tom Brady. And cheeseburgers on the field. Let me take you back to Red Sox 2004 which had "The Idiots" signifying a who gives a damn attitude, Pedro's little person in the clubhouse, Manny-Being-Manny, Johny Damon auditioning to be Jesus, and Kevin Millar's "Born in the U.S.A." video. If you were NOT a Red Sox fan you wondered a) how can people who won nothing talk so much, and b) can I hit them? Can I hit them repeatedly? With a large object until they go away. You also need...

The Villain (or Hero depending on where you live)
For a rivalry to get vicious you need someone to be the focus of your fan anger. You need: Rex Ryan & Pedro Martinez. Rex Ryan needs his own paragraph in this madness. If you are a Jets fan you NEED Rex Ryan.

You need him to lead bunch of malcontents like Santonio Holmes who gives a huge first down gesture after catching a ball *when his team is getting killed*. You need Perdo Martinez coming out to pitch when the Red Sox have a huge lead and nearly causing a riot. This was AFTER Pedro threw Don Zimmer to the ground (that is the New York point of view; to the Red Sox fan Pedro merely moved out of the way and Zimmer fell). Overall, you really need the players to believe in themselves (or if you’re the opposition you think is part of the Overbearing Arrogance). You don't have this and you don't win. Specifically you need a player who will...

Take a Swing
Taking a swing is where you have had enough and manage to change the expectations of the franchise. In 2004 it was Jason Varitek taking a swing at A-Rod. This year it is Nick Folk actually taking a swing. Nick Folk! By all rights a terrible kicker. Right leg like in motion, hitting the game winning field goal instead of Doug O'Briening it off the upright. Along with the swing you need to understand...

The Road Goes Through Your Enemies Lands
Boston and New York hold an intense love/hate relationship that is mostly hate. New York's mayor was born in Boston. A New York team ruined a perfect season. Or as one of my childhood friends said, "Why would you want to live in New York? It's filled with New Yorkers." You need to beat your enemy to have yourself a true victory. Plus your enemy tends to have a great finisher. In this case...

Mariano equals Brady
Mariano is the greatest closer of all time. Brady is arguably the greatest championship quarterback of all time (Joe Montana's ears just perked up somewhere). You have to go through them to get to the championship. That simple. Though when everything is said and ton and the intangibles are made tangible, you and need to win the game. Or in this case...

A Reason the Underdog Prevails
I WILL give you an actual football reason the Jets may win.

The Patriots defense cannot stop the run. Yeah, sometimes it actually comes down to the game itself.

As a Boston fan I now know how my buddy Rob felt before that game. It is about a lifetime of getting used to success. I also under why Craig feels that way about THIS game. I felt it as a Red Sox fan when Roberts scored. It was a lifetime of failure being lifted.

Look at that Boston and New York fans - understanding each other a bit more every day.

Wayne

Your fantasy team isn't playing...it's time to eat

If you've been playing fantasy football all season chances are you may actually be drawn to the games even though you have no stake whatsoever. I know, weird, right? Most leagues are done by now so let us give these games so meaning.

Let us eat.

Do yourself (and your friends) a favor by throwing a long party of gluttony and greatness. Your friends who actually like football will appreciate it - if there is anything I've learned from documenting tailgaters is that groups of people + football = good times. Also some of these games are going to be nearly intolerable to watch and you'll need SOMETHING to do beside tweet and post status update about how boring everything is.

PS If you're a vegetarian you really can substitute dishes throughout.

There are three rules:

1. This a marathon and not a sprint & I've designed the menu as such - in fancy Top Chef terms it is a progression. I think.
2. There has to be a sandwhich at each game. People need the freedom to jump up and down while watching.
3. I live in Brooklyn so we don't have to worry about designated drivers - please drive safely for you suburbanites. Not really a rule, merely explaining alcohol.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON GAME
Saints v Seahawks

This is a DANGER game, or for gamblers out there "the trap" game. There is a high chance this will be a blowout (at least until the Saints put Ivory and Thomas on the IR as I wrote this post) and a blowout is like a bad date - you eat and drink too much just to keep up the illusion of interest. A second danger that nobody will show up for this game.

I use this game to knock out the the traditional staples and eliminate my own delusions of grandeur of somehow figuring out a way to be hipster ironic, ironic of anything, and generally help that I am going to wake up Saturday morning feeling lazy or uncreative. Also, if someone shows up for the Saturday night game you can point to the trash can where the remnants of "usual" stuff now sits.

• Nachos. Do it the way my wife Danielle does it. She uses wwo cake pans to control the nacho output. Smart wife I have. You can also clean out a lot of leftovers from your fridge by the throwing them in your nachos concoction. Nachos are like the Lasagnas of football - anything can go in and it is still Nachos.
• Buffalo Wings. I spent one summer in New Jersey working in a chicken wing fast food place and the secret to making wings. Deep fry (or bake fry) the wings, take them out and THEN put them in the sauce.
  
  Emulating this is pretty easy & you really don't need a deep frier. While your wings bake in the oven, take a bunch of bowls and fill them with the four sauce staples: medium, hot, bbq and honey mustard. Post-cooking split up the wings, throw in bowls, cover, shake, and then serve. If anyone double-dips ejection the person from the house and only let him (it is always a hit) return if he picks up wings. That is disgusting when it comes to sauces.
• Chicken Sandwhiches. Super easy to make and always a hit. Probably since it is the healthiest thing for the first game. Also fills in the sandwhich rule.
• Beer. Heinken, PBR, and Coors. Get the irony out of the way. It always keeps people from getting too drunk in the first game.

SATURDAY NIGHT GAME
Jets v Colts
This is the weekend's prime time event (more or less) and is really a chance to bust out the big guns. You want the following zone for this game: Old Person New Year's Eve. Which is zone where can get yourself just buzzed enough yet still happy enough where you can ignore the people you don't like while celebrating the people you love. Or in this case the food you love.

• Pulled Pork Sandwhiches. Throw a bunch of pork butt into a slow cooker, some red wine, some onions, and a bunch of other stuff I am not talking about. The key is about 6-8 hours slow cook, drain liquid, shred, add bbq sauce and an hour on high in the slow cooker. The second key: use good BBQ sauce. Since this will be cooking during the first game you will have to fend off people who try to nab some early bites. I use one thick KC type sauce and one vinegar type so I can keep all BBQ fanatics happy.
• Mac & Cheese. I am not talking store bought Kraft. Use two different types of pasta - shells and rotini work, some sharp sheddar, bacon, and pastore cheese. If you use 1 pound of cheese total and 2 pounds of pasta you can feed at least 8 people without issue. It is also surprisingly cost effective. For people who have veggie friends you can use two smaller pans and do one without bacon.
• Shots. That's right, I said SHOTS! One shot to start the game. Another at half time. You'll feel cool and young again and there is no way the alcohol will touch your stomach since DO YOU KNOW HOW HEAVY the two dishes are?
• Dark and Stormy. Since this is the over indulgence game go for it. Ginger beer mixed with Gosling's rum. This drink is so tasty I once told my oldest friend John I was having it at a party, he mentioned it to his pregnant wife and she became so jealous she made one for herself. A drink so good pregnant women endanger unborn children.

What is great is that you have enough cheap beer left over from game one that nobody mined since the food is so good. That is it. That is all you need to get you through the first day.

It will also get you through most of the weekend as nobody is going to be able to move enough to come over.

SUNDAY EARLY GAME
Baltimore v KC

I consider this a brunch-type game and how many hardcore Baltimore of KC fans do you know who are going to show up for the first quarter? Let us go light and fluffy at this point as the meat and mac will still be hanging out in your stomach. Also, you did shots the night before - take it easy soldier. This is also the traditional day of football and as I traditionalist every game must include grilling outdoors.

• French Toast. For a football game? Yes. Do you know how easy it is to make French toast? I watch Danielle make it all the time and it looks really easy when she does it. They can also be made to order. Danielle does that because I am in charge of the next item.
• Bacon Blue Cheese Burgers (medium rare). My friends would never forgive me if I did not have something that appeals to the base animal instincts (nor would my cat who is busy stealing food all day). My butcher uses a combination short ribs and brisket mix which would be competely WASTED on people at this point - save that for a small BBQ as there is no need to get crazy. They get the 85% lean though and I mix in some bacon and blue cheese directly into the meat. For Danielle and her pregant friends I will make some Blue Cheese-less and medium. This can be a DANGER item for a close game - if at halftime I think the game is going down to the wire I'm cooking up a bunch of them and leaving them out. Enjoy your cold burger or learn how to use my microwave for re-heating.
• Mimosas. Champagne and football DO mix.
• Coffee. Have a pot ready. Never hurts.
• Beer. You'll want to start drinkings just after half time. I would move up to Sam Adams or whatever of the million microbrews are out there. Stay away from anything flavored though.
  

LATER SUNDAY GAME
Green Bay v Philadelphia
This is the home stretch and congratulations on making it this far. The twitching in that eye is normal. Do not call in sick before the game though - the boss will be suspcious.

• Mini-hotdogs. First of all it is an awesome food. No party is ever complete without them and have you ever heard someone say: Man, I hated that they had mini-hotdogs? Also you mini-hot dogs, mustard, and Michael Vick jokes go over really well.
• Rib-eyed sandwhiches. Fire up the grill and reward your guests and friends for making it this far.
• Left overs. You really think you won't have any at this point? You're going to be eating this stuff all week.
• Another shot. To start the game. To the end the game. If I wasn't so cheap I would get a bottle of Petron.
• Top shelf alcohol. This is when I usually let a mixologist friend take over, or I left people into the Black label. Anyone drinking at this point is a professional anyway and you must treat them with the utmost respect.

There you have it former football players. After this weekend you will be converted to the happy factor of football eating and over indulgence. Do not worry about drinking too much as chances are you'll be calling into work sick on Monday anyway. And who won the games? Does it really matter (unless you're rooting for one of the six teams playing). Your fantasy football team isn't playing anymore and you are now fat and happy.

Wayne

Ten Things I'll Tell My Daughter About WWE Wrestling at MSG

Danielle has an autographed picture of John Cena in her at office. For a gift I got her the John Cena ringtone and she grins like the cheshire cat whenever someone calls her. I mention these since whenever I told people we were going to watch Raw at Madison Square Garden the day after Christmas they wanted to know how I could make my pregnant wife suffer so.

Suffer? She was the one who bought the tickets and she is the one who chose to get us third row seats. Oh, did I mention she wrote a job into our wedding vows about watching pro wrestling together?

Top ten things/memories/whatevers from last night at Madison Square Garden...during a blizzard.

1. I finally bought an I'm Awesome! Miz t-shirt. I have never ever owned a wrestling t-shirt before. Danielle doesn't like the new style of John Cena t-shirts & said she'd feel like a traitor for buying a much cooler Randy Orton t-shirt since there was supposed to be a fatal four way that night
2. The place was 57% full - most of Long Island couldn't get in since train service had already been suspended. Despite being a house show it was still loud.
3. John Cena fans emit a high pitched shriek equivalent to the noise a dolphin makes.
   
4. When the steel cage was being erected (final match was changed from a fatal four way to Cena v Barrett) I managed to engage referee Charles Robinson in a short conversation. I haven't seen Danielle that impressed with me in a long time.
5. I was one of few people cheering for the Miz. Actually the guy in front of us turned to me and as he grinned said, "So you're that guy, huh?"
6. There were a lot of teenage girls decked out in Cena Nation gear. I say this since I am now much more aware of what teenagers wear. At least it isn't pink.
7. Danielle now refuses to sit anywhere except way up front now.
8. The woman sitting next to us knew all the words to Randy Orton's "I hear voices" song. I was mildly impressed yet fearful
9. The following are impressive finishers live: the Cobra, Starship Pain, and the Bella Twins. Not as impressive: The Throwback and the RKO. That may be the geakiest sentence in a while for me
10. When people wonder WHY you would go to pro wrestling you should take them. It takes the spectacle of a broadway show, tosses in some rock concert, mixes in with the athletics of a football game and sprinkles with the passion of a your team being down but having the ball for the final play.

Did we "brave" a blizzard to go. Absolutely. Did we have to trudge back through snow to get home? Absolutely. Would we do it again? Positively.

Ten Things I'll Tell My Daughter About the Blizzard of '10

For once there is a real live blizzard outside. Usually there is a little snow on the ground and New Yorkers panic. I say New Yorkers in the sense of Manhattan and the surrounding areas; people upstate, such as Buffalo, consider this a minor dusting.

1. Trudging through this to watch pro wrestling from the third row at Madison Square Garden. It was awesome!
   
2. The face plant the Chinese food delivery guy did on Butler street when his BMX bike skidded and lost control. He was wearing a helmet - which is why the story is funny. Yes I did ask him if he was okay.
   
3. Correspondence between my friend Ken and I last night.
   
   Me: Heading to WWE at Msg!
   Ken: But it's a blizzard
   Me: 22 ton F train v 6 inches snow. F train wins!
   
   The F train stopped running at 11 PM as Danielle and I were on our way home. Snow wins!
   
4. Danielle and I jumping into snow banks and snow drifts to avoid cars in the road as we trudged from Burrough Hall.
   
5. Listening to the AC covers barely keep the snow out - we had put on the last AC cover that day
6. Work pro-actively telling us to work from home home
7. Climbing into the bathtub to strip off my snow covered clothes when we got home
8. Being happy to live in an apartment complex and not having to shovel
9. Feeling really bad for the two parents who had a bunch of luggage and two small children when the F train was canceled. I hope the R train got them where they were going.
10. Being really happy that we went to the garden since I get to wear my I'm Awesome! Miz t-shirt and Danielle got to grin like a small child when Cena came out.

Yeah, we're the people who celebrate going out in the weather like this. Such is life.

Ball Four, My Mom, and 8 Year-Old-Me

File this under unintended consequence.

In lending a one of my copies of Ball Four (yes, I have multiple copies) to @sabometrics it led to @ronm3xico commenting about beaver hunting being part of the book. I'm not going to spoil the book for you, but man did this lead to a memory resurfacing, and a question I once asked:

"Mom, what's Beaver Hunting?"

I was eight when I asked the question. Ah, gotta love the 1980s.

How I got my hands on what for an eight year old may actually be considered porn is simple enough: I loved reading about baseball. Anything and everything. Growing up in Boston I was blessed with the Boston Globe Sunday sports section. I was blessed with a Mother who loves baseball. I was blessed with a father was knew nothing about baseball only that he encouraged his son to read.

Every Sunday I would go to the used book store with my father; him buy me a book and then myself devour anything remotely sports related. Imagine my father's happiness when we came upon a rather thick baseball book that could be had for a dollar. Imagine my happiness when I started reading said thick book. My mother, not so much happiness.

The noise my mother made was along the lines of the same noise I imagine I'll make when my daughter announces she has a boyfriend - a cross between cat hacking up hairball and bad tasting tequila.

Her simple question/statement, "Are you reading Ball Four? I read that book."

Eight-year-old me was super excited. A) My mother recognized a book I was reading B) She had read the book. This immediately made is so cool on so many levels I could barely begin to describe it. My mother and myself - reading buddies!

I didn't anticipate C though.

"Give me that!" Those were the next words out of his mouth and it became the first item I can ever recall my mother unjustly (at least as far as I was concerned) taking from me.

Only it still didn't answer the question: What's Beaver Hunting?

My older (11 years of age and wisdom) and somewhat wiser brother had no idea idea. None of the neighborhood kids knew the answer. The mystical and seemingly amazing term that could horrify a parent was certainly something that needed further examination.

So I did what any self respecting eight year old would do: I found the book on my mother's bookshelf and spent the next month sneaking in readings of it. Much like watching Grease, Animal House, or Blues Brothers I didn't really understand the sex parts of the book - not even beaver hunter.

Gotta love Ball Four. Thanks for bringing up the memory guys.

Wayne

P.S. If you look back of Mickey Mantle’s biography, Whitey Ford’s biography, and Billy Martin's biography it took really about five seconds to put together how much carousing and drinking these guys did.

Cliff Lee: Dollars & Sense Part2

At 1 AM or so on 12/14/2010 the twitter verse exploded with the news that there indeed was a secret team in the Cliff Lee sweepstakes and oh goodness he was heading to Philadelphia. Phillies 5 years/24 million average overcoming the Yankees 6 years/22 million average.

Once again there were cries of money being left on the table. To which I reply, oh please Cliff Lee left no dollars on the table and maybe, just maybe, he went where he wanted to pitch.

Yesterday I gave you Arlington v New York, today I present Philadelphia v New York. At least when it comes to the world of taxes, cost of living, and money left on the table. *I'm using Philadelphia and New York City as the basis due to the fact that is where the teams play and I have no idea where Cliff and his family plans on residing.

Okay that 59% is a pretty incredible number. Let us put that together with the state and city taxes I was talking about in yesterday's post - though Pennsylvania actually has a tax of 3.07%, which is higher than Texas's 0%, though lower that New York's 11.3%.

My screen capture software doesn't seem to like today's graphic so I'll bullet point the important numbers

• **$32,450,000 Additional Amount over Five Year contract to cover cost of living difference (this has been adjusted from the initial figure of 64 to include that half the amount is not going to be adjusted for cola - well at least until below)
• **2,263,250 Additional Amount per year to cover difference in state taxes (this has been adjusted to include that half the games are on the road)
• **$28,942,650 Actual Amount per year Yankee off would need to be for Cliff Lee to not leave money on the table

Nearly 29 million dollars. Which is is way less than my original estimate of 37 million dollars and for that I'm thankful for those who have taken the time to read and comment. Either way, can we stop with the Cliff Lee left money on the table nonsense? Both numbers were certainly large enough to leave Cliff and his family feeling pretty good for life.

Oh, the 16 million dollars 6th year option. That presumes that Cliff won't pitch again after this contract. Okay, even if he retires after this contract he will still have made more money in Philadelphia than he would have in New York City the 12 million dollars easily covered due to the cost of living differences.

***Okay, the following two paragraphs are the third updates to this entry and I want to thank @Bill_TPA and @vijtable for bringing up diminishing value (aka diminishing marginal value) when it comes to cola for a contract this large. Or as an economics major @sabometrics wrote to me, "The concept of diminishing marginal utility makes the cost of living adjustments and, to a large extent the difference in the value of the contract, moot. Cliff Lee would likely only enjoy 150 million dollars a marginal amount more than he will enjoy 120 million dollars. Of course it is impossible to say what his specific marginal utility curve looks like but it's pretty safe to say that any of these contract put him at a pretty flat area of the curve."

Well, that seems to put a damper in my original conclusion when it comes to the largness of the numbers. I could even just hide behind "half the amount is not going to be adjusted for cola" but really there is no way that number holds up. Taking into account just the state tax dollars and a slight cost of living adjustment the numbers still add up, though not nearly as spectactularly cool as before and certainly not nearly the 59% difference as before. However I still feel strong enough about my original conclusion - or at least to figure that the Yanks would have had to upped the offer at least $1.00.

Cliff gets to pitch where he wanted to pitch, and in this case he certainly will be well paid and not a cent of New York's money was left on the table.

*
Clarification of why I chose these particular cities. Yes, you can use lesser suburbs (or wealthier) ones.
** Per valid points and feedback this number has been adjusted to reflect that he will spend 1/2 the year in Philadelphia and 1/2 the year in Arkansas
*** The third update

Cliff Lee: It's a Matter of Dollars and Sense

A lot has been said and written about Cliff Lee coming to New York or remaining in Texas. Mostly around how much more money he'll get.

I have zero knowledge when it comes to the inner workings of the mind of a major league pitcher. Luckily for you readers I do have some basic knowledge of taxes and the cost of living.

Rather than bore everyone with a long talk on tax planning I'm going straight to the visuals.

Using
http://www.bestplaces.net/col/?salary=21000000&city1=54804000&city2=53651000 I generated the following information.

Excuse me a moment while all my friends living in New York figure out a way to move to Arlington, Texas.

I know major league players don't HAVE to live in the city the team plays in (so feel free to put in the zip codes of the surrounding towns). What I do know from once upon a time of living in New Jersey and working in Brooklyn is that major league players have to pay New York City taxes. Don't ask me how it works just know that from a legal perspective it does.

The cost of living calculator did not seem to include the 11.3% New York State and New York City employment taxes that would be taken from Cliff's paycheck. Simply put Texas does not have a state income tax and New York does.

(There are some additional adjustments based on how many home games v road games, for simplicities sake I'm going to stick with 11.3% in taxes across Cliff's entire paycheck).

Presuming Cliff and his wife file jointly the pertinent tax information is as follows:

In New York pays more money in state taxes and offsets the 830K in federal taxes. So not only does Cliff Lee's cost of living go up he also pays an additional $1,542,750 to pitch in New York. I'm sure someone will comment that you can deduct states taxes paid from your federal taxes amount.

I already included the deduction in my calculations.

Yankee fans take heart. Know that if Cliff Lee does come play for the Yankees it will be because he probably thinks it is the best chance to win the World Series and it won't be because he is a pitching mercenary. Despite what people are sure to say if he signs.