Why No Good Atlantis Movies?

I fully admit that I have an odd love affair with the movie the National Treasure -despite it including the punchline to a joke acting of Nic Cage - or really any movie that uses history, no matter how ill informed, plotless, or otherwise inane. If the movie Sahara - despite it including the punchline to a joke acting Matthew McConaughey - is on I stop everything I'm doing to marvel on whether I think the movie is plausible or not. Noah Wylie's The Librarian puts them all to shame though.

I have not come here to bury, praise, or pontificate on those movies - I am here since I am a curious type: why have not seen one movie about Atlantis. Maybe they are out there and I just don't know about them. All I know is I have never heard about any of them.

Atlantis is mentioned in The Illiad and seems to be a permanent fixture on the Discovery and History Channel as far as questions on its very existence. You think this would be perfect fodder for Hollywood, yet it has fallen between the lines.

Here is what it has going for it

• The Illiad gave us Troy which gave us the awful movie Troy. With that type of pedigree you think we'd see the movie about a super race of people that were wiped out by an even more super race of people.
• It involves a super advanced civilization. The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull had aliens and an advanced race you would think that - actually scratch that comparison.
• History points out that Sardinia is the most likely site of Atlantis and that the advanced society was blown out of existence when a volcano exploded and blew up half of the island. If we can't find a nice moral tale in there anyone I'll be damned.
• People are interested in it. Google Atlantis and see how much material comes up.

No matter what I hope that someday we get to see a decent move about Atlantis. Right now the closest Atlantian based entertainment we get is from the comic Aquaman. Certainly the world can do a lot better.

Wayne

Inner Monologue While Watching the Mets Tonight

The paranthesis includes the inner monologue at the time

• Sienna is down for the night I'll put on the Mets game (I wonder if the Mets can break .500)



• Hmmm, R.A. Dickey doesn't look so good (It was bound to happen)



• Mmm, dinner is tasty tonight (Mmm, dinner IS tasty tonight)



• Crud, the Mets are down by three (They seem to not want to break .500)



• Did that first basemen trip Angel Pagan (Please don't go on the DL Angel...please don't go on the DL).



• Holy crap, Hairston tied the game! (He is still alive?)



• Holy crap, the Mets are up by one (This was unexpected)



• Holy crap, the Mets are up by two (That second run was huge!)



• K-Rod in for the save and he has twenty in a row (I thought he blew a save)



• Ah, they just said K-Rod blew his first save opportunity of this year and has run off twenty in a row (I knew I wasn't crazy)



• Run on first (I believe)



• Chipper Jones isn't in the game (I still believe)



• Two run homer (Motherf*cker!)



• Mets lose. On a balk. (That was rather inventive)



• At least dinner was good (It really WAS good).

Wayne

And the hockey lords did say...

Well the Hockey Lords reached down from the heavens - apparently having been told by the football, baseball, and basketball lords that Boston fans are decent enough people - and deemed the Bruins champions of the NHL Universe.

The law of unintended consequences to this event was additional bragging rights for Boston when it comes to shortest time for the Big Four* championships (seven years) and massive rioting in Vancouver.

Wait. What? Massive rioting in Vancouver?

Yep, the neighbors to the north (west) mostly known for beautiful views, cold winters and a love of sports such as curling set the neighborhood on fire after losing the games. It cannot be unexpected though since Vancouver expressed the same type of sore losing skills after a 1994 Stanley Cup loss.

I am sure it was just a few bad canucks who got out of control. Boston fans express similar sentiments in that we're all not totally disreputable, arrogant, over entitled, pink hat wearing fans. For instance, I do not wear a pink hat.

It is a shame that people will remember the city of Vancouver for this and maybe the hockey lords did see that after the Boston victories we don't light the city on fire and riot. Maybe THAT is why we were rewarded.

Wayne

* Really should be Big Three + Hockey.

Ten Things I'll Tell My Daughter: My Top 10 Video Games

Yeah. I'm loving lists right now. Everyone loves lists. Again, in no particular order I introduce Sienna to video games that Daddy love(s/d).

1. Civilization Revolution My love affair with this game follows the same path as addiction. My friend Mike introduced me to it, my mother-in-law bought me a copy, and I can't stop playing it. I've tried. Lord how I've tried. As a one and two month old Sienna used to sit on my lap and I would explain historical concepts to her using this game.


2. Street Fighter 2 I played this game way too much in High School and was good - then I started hanging out with the Asian kids in the game center at UMass and they took my game to a whole new level. I'm not being racist people, there were ten Asian kids who used to surround the Street Fighter 2 game in the center and beat the heck out of non-Asians (in the game), battle to draws until the final round at which point they would play for real and for some reason accepted me as one of their own.


3. Tetris To this day I am upset that my friend Dennis can beat me at this game. Everyone else I can take. Not Dennis though.


4. Billy Beane Baseball. Danielle was a reporter when she got a test copy of this game for review. I miss her being a reporter as I would free books and games all the time. This game let me be a GM. Sure the AI was flawed and it took me a short time to game the system. Still. I loved it. Apparently I was the only one though.


5. Rampart Someday someone will come up with a console that will allow this game to be a popular home game on the Xbox. It involved a track ball, building castles, and blowing up the enemy.


6. Madden Franchise mode was the greatest invention ever. Ever. EVER!


7. Tecmo Bowl I am convinced that without this game all other sports games would not have come to pass. You can have hours of conversations to this day about what picking each team meant as some sort of reflection of your personality.


8. Paper Boy Danielle destroys me in this game so it makes the list.


9. Ms Pac Man Danielle beat me in this game the first time we ever played. I claim it was because I was outdrinking her with a 2-to-1 ratio in New Orleans. In the subsequent rematch I had her outdrink me by a 2-to-1 ratio (also in New Orleans) and I won. That is correct. I got my future wife drunk so I could beat her in a video game.


10. Legend of Zelda Oh my God did my friends and I take this game seriously. To this day I hear the music and do a combined twitch/smile.


11. (Freebie) Contra I have already talked about this game.

There you have it. Video game dork list.

Wayne

SubwayMoves That I Don't Understand

Maybe it is a matter of the person being confused when I am being nice. Or perhaps I have a really menacing personality.

Twice this past week people with a kid came onto the subway. I offered up my seat. The person politely says "no thank you." At the very next stop someone else gets off the train and...the person with the kid sits down in the seat. One time with a noticeable noise of physical relief.

Someday someone can explain this to me.

Wayne

A Day of Solo Parenting

The weather turned against me for my random day of solo parenting with Sienna. Danielle was heading off to a wedding shower - and since my reader(s) is(are) smart you know that means I got to take Sienna out for the day. The original plan was to take her on her first subway ride, first trip to the comic book store, the Union Square farmers' market and her first trip to Chinatown to the fish monger.

Do what you know is my theory. I went as far as to see if my friend Jeff, owner of the comic book store and hell of a human being, would be there on Saturday to meet Sienna. He is among the important people in life Sienna must meet and learn about. He wasn't going to be around, therefore I'll file that under: at least I tried.

Instead the threat of rain moved in and it was audible time. Parenting, so far, has been about adjusting whatever plan you have in mind when it comes to just about everything. The last place I wanted to be was in Manhattan, carrying a stroller up wet steps and looking for shelter. Manhattan is a wonderful place, yet it strikes me as slightly unprepared for dealing with a crying, wet child. Perhaps it was that other the Babies R' Us I couldn't picture anywhere around Union Square that would be baby friendly.

Park Slope on the other hand...perfectly designed for this possibility. With Sienna's diaper bag firmly in place, rain cover at the ready, and a hat to protect my balding head I set off. It was a great walk to Prospect Park - 45 minutes of workout and I haven't exactly been working out lately.

I introduced Sienna to the lovely concept of dumplings from a moving truck. Then a duck proscuitto tasting which resulted in the purchase of some duck bacon* - though I told her it was not cheating on our butcher since he only has pre-package duck bacon and this was fresh from the farm.

Actually I am pretty sure Sienna is going to be convinced that whenever she goes out in the stroller and daddy is driving it means she is getting food since I pick her up from daycare and then go shopping. This farmer's market visit continued as I picked up some cheese, spicy turkey sausage for sauce, and sweet sausage for calzones.

On the way home from the market I introduced her to another on my favorite concepts: chinese food lunch special. It started raining so I jumped into Mr Wong's Chinese restaurant. The waitresses in there LOVED Sienna and as the rain drizzled I fed her while I picked up General Tso's chicken. More than anything it was the relaxed nature of the staff and that they did not blink that there was a child sitting on the table looking around.

And then on the way home...she fell asleep. Good child. She makes me look good sometimes.

There may not have been comics, yet it was still a great day.

Wayne
* The duck bacon and cheese ended up in Danielle's breakfast omelette

Softball Game Followup

Softball Followup

Oh yeah. The game.

We made it to the semi-finals with a victory, though it was certainly NOT thanks to me. The other team forfeited! Since it was 100 degrees out at the time I understood and since the other team had already made the playoffs too there wasn't much reason to play for standings positions. After all it IS softball.

Through the complications of rules of tie breakers we finished 2nd in the division and get the home game on Tuesday. I guess we were not playing for first place after all, goes to show you what I know.

The day turned weird/fun from there. Since we had the field anyway seven of us - Jason, Matt, Mike, Marc, Eric, Laura and myself too Matt up on his suggestion that we go throw the ball around and have some BP. Pursuant to the fact that I have not played in a month (and that Danielle said it was okay) I joined in.

After three throws on the field...downpour!!!!!

As we are UMass graduates we piled into two cards and went to a bar where we ate 35 cent wings and drank beer. Great time had be all. Or at least what I can recall of it.

Real game followup on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

Wayne